Elderly Jacksonville Man Hits Bachelor Partygoers With Golf Cart, Then Whacks a Guy With a Club

A 61-year-old Jacksonville man was arrested and charged with aggravated battery with a deadly weapon after maniacally slamming his golf cart into a bachelor party, and then slugging a man with a club. One fellow suffered a “badly swollen leg” as a result of being steamrolled by the cart. Here’s one account of the melee that took place at Jacksonville Beach Municipal Golf Course.

“He drove the cart as fast as it could go … he ran right over my buddy and caught me, too. He went full bore. I never saw anybody use a golf cart as a weapon.”

Full bore? I appreciate this man’s commitment to seek and destroy. According to the police report, the argument “involved the younger golfers driving, drinking and ‘malingering’ on the greens.” OK, let’s just get this out of the way, is it even possible to enjoy a day of golf without malingering?

There was also something mentioned about not playing the game the right way. I’m actually not sure what’s worse, playing golf the “wrong way,” or getting pissed that someone else is playing golf the wrong way. Sounds like a wonderful collection of unreasonable assholes.

After initially seeing the mugshot, I had secretly been hoping the brawl began shortly after the pictured attacker screamed “don’t tell me what I can’t do!”

[via Jacksonville.com]

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