Roundup: Scott Van Pelt is Staying at ESPN, Bryce Harper Hit His 1st Home Run & Watch a Lamborghini Get in a Car Accident

Nicole Scherzinger … you can’t text and walk in one New Jersey town … “Can a Better Vibrator Inspire an Age of Great American Sex?” … great story about a janitor graduating from Columbia … a GIF of Kate Beckinsale doing the Dougie on Ellen … “Disaster losses set to outpace economic growth” … man spends $60k in custody battle over his dog … “FBI Agent Who Investigated Unabomber Arrested On Child Pornography Charges” … the world’s largest public toilet

Scott Van Pelt announced on twitter he’s staying at ESPN. [SVP]

Bryce Harper hit his first homer in the majors. [Wash Post]

Oklahoma QB Landry Jones won’t have a few of his receivers early next season due to suspensions. [Oklahoman]

Matt Kemp is going on the DL with a strained hamstring. [LA Times]

“Colorado teenagers are alleging that two mothers who chaperoned their high school prom sprayed Lysol disinfectant on teens they thought were dirty dancing, calling them ‘sluts’ and ‘whores.'” [ABC News]

Fifty-two year old woman is competing in Division III track and field. [The Daily]

It appears Manny Ramirez will be joining the Oakland A’s at the end of the month. [SF Gate]

Dale Hunter has decided he’s done coaching the Washington Capitals. [Times]

Former Kentucky basketball player Michael Porter arrested on sex charges. [John Clay’s Sidelines]

Wrigley Field must be destroyed! [WSJ]

“A woman on probation for changing the grades of football players at Antioch High School — where she was a teacher and her husband head coach — is now facing multiple counts of forgery for allegedly scamming her new employer.” [Sun-Times]

Hot dog in a Lamborghini probably feels really stupid right now.

Accelerator got stuck. The accident injured 17 people.

Is Summer’s Eve that funny? [via Traina]

Ferrari flies through right light, crashes into car. If you believe the YouTube comments, three people were killed. [via Adam]

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