Game of Thrones: "The Prince of Winterfell" Recap

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[Remember – If you must discuss book-related spoilers, take it to the Game of Thrones title card thread. Thanks. ]

Theon – Things are not working out so well. We learned for certain that he just burnt a couple innocent kids and his sister shows up, calls him a cunt and asks him to come home before somebody kills him. Who hasn’t had that conversation with a sibling they once fingered on horseback?

Yara – She called Theon a dumb cunt which is always fun.  She likes chicken wings and beer. No wonder Theon was so attracted to her when they met. Then they had a tender moment.

Jon Snow – A prisoner who still doesn’t have a hat. Will he fall in love with the Gingerling?

Robb Stark – Its going on romantic walks during a war. Man, this girl does not have him thinking straight.

Talisa – She finally makes a serious emotional connection with The King In the North. Oh, and she gets naked which is probably the most important part of the entire episode. That says a lot about the lack of action. Also, tearing clothes off in Westeros is a difficult task.

Catelyn Stark – WTF? Lady Stark has had her moments, but this one takes the cake. First she saves Jaime’s life, then she sets him free so she can save her daughters? I don’t blame Robb for throwing her in jail. Besides, he’s got a new woman in his life.

Brienne – I think this is the same plot as The Bounty Hunter. I bet these two end up kissing!

The Mountain – It should be noted that there is a different actor playing The Mountain this year. We haven’t seen him do anything badass yet, which is disappointing. The Mountain and The Hound should each do something absurdly violent once an episode.

Bronn – As fun as Tyrion and Bronn were as new friends, they might be better as an old married couple.

Sam – Not cut out to shovel latrines. Don’t worry though. Soon he’ll be wielding dragonglass and leading a siege to save Jon Snow. That sounds realistic, right?

Arya -Walked right out the front door. She might not be too clever.

Cersei – The darkest scenes in the entire show take place between Cersei and Tyrion without any on-screen violence whatsoever. The way they (kind of, maybe) love each other, hate each other and begrudgingly respect each other is chilling.

Stannis – Who names a crabber’s son the Hand of the King? Honestly.

Bran and Rickon – Oh yeah, they’re alive.

Finally, the cast is so big (and great) that every week someone is ignored. Since the series will continue for a couple more seasons, plenty of stuff will be left unresolved over the next couple weeks. Which one will kill you the most if they are ignored?

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Previously: Game of Thrones: “A Man Without Honor” Recap
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Previously: Game of Thrones: “The Night Lands” Recap
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Previously: Game of Thrones Epic First Season