Miscellany

Game of Thrones Recap: "Blackwater"

Look, we’re going to need a few more days to think about this one. In today’s instant reaction / Twitter world where we sell our Facebook for billions of dollars people are ready to call Blackwater one of the greatest episodes of television ever. They may not be wrong, but still, let’s have a little perspe – HOLY CRAP YOU GUYS DID YOU SEE THE WILDFIRE!?

This entire episode took place in and around King’s Landing. Last week I unwittingly asked what characters would be “frustratingly ignored” in the final two episodes. The results of the poll were right on, but I certainly wouldn’t call this episode frustrating. I’m getting goosebumps just remembering what I watched. Forgetting where this hour of television belongs in a ranking of the best ever, it was great. The Battle of Blackwater lived up to its insane billing. On a show that is sometimes dragged to a halt because it is cursed with so many great characters who all need to be shown, focusing on this one place for an hour took the show to another level.

Tywin Lannister – Boss. That’s all. Am I wrong to hope that he is, like, REALLY proud of Tyrion? If he hugs Tyrion and Tyrion cries I will cry.

Tyrion Lannister – Every time you think you’ve seen it all, Peter Dinklage goes and does something like this…

What can’t Tyrion do? Add “brief, but inspiring battle speech” to his list of accomplishments. “Those are brave men at our door. Let’s go kill them!”

Cersei Lannister – Terrifying, weak, loving, scared,drunk – we saw the gamut of emotions from the Queen last night. And we were so close to being rid of her – or at least to her poisoning her son.

Joffery – The King is such a bitch, but damn is he good at being a bitch. He named his stupid, un-used sword, “heart-eater.” If Joffery were a king in the real world, he’d dress in nothing but TapouT. And when he told Sansa to “kiss it?” At some point she’s just going to call him a dork, right? Hopefully, his grandfather slaps him in the face and tells him to respect the Hand. I really just want everyone to hug Tyrion.

The Hound – Well then. The Hound did Hound stuff until the fire got so close. Before he left, he dropped the ultimate line – “Any man  dies without blood on his sword, I’ll rape his corpse.” Now maybe we get a new duo on the road together – Sansa and The Hound. GoT comes up with some pretty insane buddy comedies.

Sansa – Took a mental beating from the Queen for the thousandth straight episode. This one was much more straightforward than previous ones. Sansa almost seemed to push through in the end.

Shea – If she and Cersei were locked in that room together any longer, only one was going to walk out.

Stannis Baratheon – Maybe don’t be the first one up the ladder next time? I understand being prepared to go all-in on the attack of King’s Landing, but if you have a witch who can give birth to smoke assassins, maybe you don’t leave her behind when you go into the most important battle of your life? No? Does that make sense to anyone else? If you have the God of Light on  your side, maybe you fight during the day? Other than that, solid game plan.

Drums – Has to be mentioned how the war drums – an answer to the King’s Landing bells – amped up the tension. I was ready to start throwing beer bottles at that point. So well done.

Bronn – He stood up to The Hound and personally undressed the only naked body we saw on this episode. Then he invited The Hound to have another drink with him. That is tremendous range for a single scene.

Here is The National’s version of The Rains of Castamere. Remember these words today. Happy Memorial Day.

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Previously: Game of Thrones “The Prince of Winterfell” Recap
Previously: Game of Thrones: “A Man Without Honor” Recap
Previously: Game of Thrones: “The Old Gods and the New” Recap
Previously: Game of Thrones: “The Ghost of Harrenhal” Recap
Previously: Game of Thrones: “Garden of Bones” Recap
Previously: Game of Thrones “What is Dead May Never Die” Recap
Previously: Game of Thrones: “The Night Lands” Recap
Previously: Game of Thrones Recap: “The North Remembers”
Previously: Game of Thrones Epic First Season

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