Roundup: Terrell Owens Cut By Indoor Football League Team, Gordon Ramsay Got Leveled in a Charity Soccer Match

Alison Brie…Romney has secured the Republican nomination. If you’re wrong, just yell it louder. Syrian diplomats have been expelled. Don’t post wads of cash on Facebook. Speaking of Facebook… Anthony Bourdain is moving to CNN. A six-year old competed in the spelling bee. Snake handling pastor dies from, wait for it, a snake bite. U.S. College Students spent $3 Billion on remedial courses. Saddam’s daughter wants to publish his memoirs. First look at Andre 3000 as Jimi. A Pizza delivery man crashed into a hearse.

Richard Deitsch published his Spring Media Power List. [SI.com]

Terrell Owens was cut by an Indoor Football League team. Refusing to play road games? Kind of a big deal. [ESPNDallas]

Carlos Gonzalez gets his batting average back above. 300. The media takes notice. [Denver Post]

Attractive blonde woman faces an athletic dilemma. Today Show segments write themselves. [Sydney Morning Herald]

Yes, Esquire did a 75-page slideshow, of books men should read. Love Lonesome Dove. Docking points for not having White Teeth or I Claudius. [Esquire]

Loyola wins first Division I national title in Lacrosse. The Wall Street sinecures may be fleeting, but the memories will last a lifetime. [NYT]

Eden Hazard was fined a bottle of champagne for missing the Belgium team bus. That’s the type of discipline regime you install after being the most talented squad not to qualify for the Euros. [Guardian]

Retired firefighter is suing the Yankees after being beaten up at the Stadium. [NYDN]

Woman catches her baby’s father in bed with another women. Arrested after using stun gun on them. Florida. [WPTV]

Man leaves toddler unattended to visit strip club. Yep, Florida again. [WTSP]

Kid gets mock award for having most homework excuses. Mom gets angry with school, not kid for not doing homework. [ABC News]

A junior girl in Ann Arbor took a freshman guy to prom. The Times was on it. [NYT]

Inspired by the ban college football debate, the Italian PM calls for a ban on soccer. [AP]

Drunk dude playing in traffic? Drunk dude playing in traffic. [Bro Bible]

Chevy Tahoe goes into a lake, twice.

Gordon Ramsay got laid out by former English star Teddy Sheringham. (Hoping that was for the American edition of “Kitchen Nightmares.”)


[Photo via Getty]

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