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Rob Dibble Has Been Named Head Coach of a High School Baseball Team

Former Cincinnati Reds closer and renowned psychopath Rob Dibble has been named head baseball coach at Calabasas High School in the San Fernando Valley.

Based on the fiery fellow’s moronic work in the broadcast booth and his slightly confrontational demeanor while with the Reds, one can only assume this experiment will end up messier than Lindsay Lohan’s vagina. Seriously, just look at this dude. Here’s Dibble on the new gig:

“I have lived and breathed baseball for 40 years, and I hope to take the many things I have learned from my dad to my high school coach to the many coaches at the major league level and give everything I can to the Calabasas baseball program,” Dibble said in a statement. “This next season will be all about the young men who will play here and the experiences we will share on and off the field. This had been a dream of mine for a long time, I just wish the season started today.”

Pretty decent, thoughtful quote, so I offer a lofty tip of the cap to whoever wrote it for him. If by this time next year we haven’t been gifted with at least a few Wally Backman-like moments, colossal disappointment would be an understatement.

[USA Today]

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