Roundup: Man Calls 911 Over Sandwich Order, Curt Schilling is a Loser & Jeremy Renner Takes Over the Bourne Series

Hilary Duff … Miami woman wants to have size MMM breasts“Forest Boy” has been revealed! He’s from the Netherlands … should traditional media be worried about twitter? … “Texas Man Found Guilty for Killing Neighbor in Dispute” … pizza vending machines are coming! … “Man Calls 911 Over Sandwich Order” … Wall Street Journal report resigns over affair … 10 ways you should never describe yourself … road rage attack via station wagon … “Cross-dressing UGA professor charged with prostitution” … a stripper in New Orleans was dismembered and her body was ID’d by her tattoos … man, I can’t wait to see PrometheusDave Chappelle performed in Memphis this week …

Curt Schilling, what a dick. [Slate]

Here’s a terrible mistake by the NCAA. Get your Dakota programs right, fellas. [Grand Forks Herald]

“Police in India have arrested a woman athlete on allegations of “rape”‘ and charges that she is actually ‘male.'” [BBC]

ESPN’s Sean McDonough will have surgery near his brain this summer. [USA Today]

Illinois defensive end who had 7.5 sacks last season broke his jaw in a fight. [Tribune]

Vegas police: Floyd Mayweather is not being mistreated in jail. [Yahoo]

That Squid On Your Plate Could Inseminate Your Mouth. [Science 2.0]

A contrarian view to the perfect game. [Keith Olbermann]

A Prague brothel where it’s free – if you perform for the web. [NSFW – Wired]

“Bail set after hitchhiker writing book on kindness shot near Glasgow.” [Billings Gazette]

Not entirely sure how I feel about Renner as Bourne.

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