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Roundup: Alligator Rips off Half of Teenager's Arm; the Legally Blind Beauty Queen going to Florida State & Sesame Street Does "Call Me Maybe"

Roundup: Alligator Rips off Half of Teenager's Arm; the Legally Blind Beauty Queen going to Florida State & Sesame Street Does "Call Me Maybe"

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Roundup: Alligator Rips off Half of Teenager's Arm; the Legally Blind Beauty Queen going to Florida State & Sesame Street Does "Call Me Maybe"

Jessica Biel … the  legally blind 18-year-old beauty queen … Katie Holmes used a disposable cell phone to escape from Tom Cruise … “What would happen if you tried to hit a baseball pitched at 90% the speed of light?” … Twilight fan hit by a car and killed at Comic-Con … “Can Oral Sex Cure Morning Sickness?” … 27-year-old wife stabs 72-year-old husband … “Teen uses ‘Swamp Men’ move to save self from alligator” … college kid’s column: “how to find the perfect husband in college” … ESPN’s Charissa Thompson, stylin’ … Ohio: “Fireball lights sky near fairgrounds after train derails” … Susan Boyle’s neighbors hate her …

Lou Williams is going to the Atlanta Hawks. He’ll have plenty of opportunities to score and rap. [AJC]

The Time I Whooped a 14-Year-Old Kid at Basketball. [LA Weekly]

The Bengals are charging fans $10 to attend a pep rally. Why would anyone attend? [Cincinnati.com]

The challenge of being a woman in sports journalism. [Penn State College of Communications]

The oral history of WFAN radio. Too bad Mike Francesa didn’t talk. [Grantland]

“For the ‘funemployed,’ unemployment is welcome.” Does anyone know these people? [LA Times]

Rashard Lewis joins Ray Allen as aging lethal shooters to sign with the Miami Heat. [Herald]

The media loves writing about Rob Gronkowski. [Buffalo News]

Moron arrested for shooting fireworks at cops. [WFTV]

“Four men accused of jumping out of a white stretch limo to film themselves attacking people in Wrigleyville are getting a bad rap, relatives said.” [Sun Times]

Headlines you can’t resist: “Naked Brunswick man who caused disturbance found in bottom of portable toilet.” [Bangor Daily News]

Second step to keeping Chris Paul – Blake Griffin inked a 5-year, $95 million extension. [LA Times]

Cookie Monster sings “Call Me Maybe.” Because everyone’s doing it. [via Hot Clicks]

Watch this man fly out of his sunroof during a car accident.

Andrew Wiggins appears to be an elite high school basketball player. Remember the name.

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  • http://hordman.blogspot.com/ Caribou

    Jessica Biel

    She can definitely get it, especially here, but that pic with bangs/fringe has got to go.

  • http://tunagolf.wordpress.com illformula

    i challenge all of you to find a worse picture of jessica biel.

  • http://joebushtradepub.blogspot.com Walking Underwear

    Caribou its so obvious in the bikini pic that those are real

  • Razor Shines

    The dichotomy between the main page pic and the pic on this page is staggering.

    Oh, sports? Yeah they are boring right now.

  • http://twitter.com/ButtersBC ButtersBC

    “What would happen if you tried to hit a baseball pitched at 90% the speed of light?

    This doesn’t account for Paul Konerko still being able to slap that nuclear plasma mass into right for a sharp single…otherwise good read

  • http://tunagolf.wordpress.com illformula

    the legally blind 18-year-old beauty queen

    /only reason i clicked
    //wtf? no pic?
    ///worthless link

  • ohheelyeah

    Biel > almost any other person on this site

  • kaiserwilhelmreems

    Biel > almost any other person on this site

    not the Tranny Biel impersonator in the pic up top.

  • http://twitter.com/#!/MikeNYC24 Mike NYC

    For the “pay your fair share” zombies in the audience (which, proportionally, always seems to be quite high here):

    Wealthy Americans earn about 50 percent of all income but pay nearly 70 percent of the federal tax burden

  • cracker jack

    Jessica Biel

    Am I crazy, and/or a jealous female.. but isn’t that a man’s face?

  • johndewar

    Lou Williams is going to the Atlanta Hawks. He’ll have plenty of opportunities to score and rap. [AJC]

    Solid work, LouWill, you’ll be missed.

  • cracker jack

    And I’m not talking just that picture either. Shes had a man face since 7th Heaven

  • ohheelyeah

    kaiser – i stopped raising hell about the after-the-jump-pic a long time ago. Its obvious the trick is to get you to click the link, and we all know the next picture will be some Golden Girls impersonation.

    mike – the funnest thing to do is to ask a liberal just what, exactly, the upper earners should pay. They never give you a serious example, because doing so would put a finite amount on their redistribution plans. It’s always “a lot more” or “more than a person on welfare or a middle class family struggling to get by”. Well, then please give us a number so we can move on…

  • http://www.majorleaguejerk.com/ spencer096

    Ohio: “Fireball lights sky near fairgrounds after train derails”

    those crazy buckeyes are at it again!

    /it’s really sad, isn’t it?

  • ohheelyeah

    Am I crazy, and/or a jealous female.. but isn’t that a man’s face?

    the pic above is quite possibly the worst pic I have ever seen of her. TBL has outdone himself this time.

  • http://twitter.com/SirLoinTipz Pastor of Muppets

    “Sometimes, people recognize you and sometimes they don’t,” he said. “I get it all the time. ‘Hey, you look like Gronk.’ I just say, ‘Thanks, he’s a cool guy.’ ”

    Sorry, but I fucking love this guy.

  • scripty

    Google Images said she might be ok. She probably finds it easier to bang the skeevy judges, not knowing what they look like.

  • http://www.majorleaguejerk.com/ spencer096

    rather have a man face like biel than a horse’s face like sarah jessica parker.

  • Jason Lisk

    i challenge all of you to find a worse picture of jessica biel.

    it will be in next Wednesday’s Roundup. Don’t lay down a gauntlet like that.

  • scripty

    Jessica Biel

    Cagey move to hide those cankles. Somebody alert Minka to this hot trend.

  • http://twitter.com/#!/Wheels1123 I'm a Horse

    college kid’s column: “how to find the perfect husband in college”

    At my alma mater this would have been called a ring by spring column.

  • http://angels.ocregister.com/files/2010/11/Wilson-Lincecum-Cain-by-Getty.jpg TimmyTheEnchanter

    Well, I’m not going to read that Washington Times piece Mike, but I can say affirmatively that Cookie Monster is a communist. Listen to him just pleading for everyone to share their hard-earned cookies.

  • http://www.majorleaguejerk.com/ spencer096

    i challenge all of you to find a worse picture of jessica biel.

    accepted.

  • ohheelyeah

    spencer – see the new Anser driver at golfwrx? Looks like somebody is finally taking adjustable clubs seriously. should be interesting to see how they walk back their disparaging comments of the concept over the years.

  • https://twitter.com/#!/ToreyKong Grizz

    You know what’s sad? PSU reports being released tomorrow am.

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