The 2012 Primetime Emmy Nominations were released this morning and, as usual, they are mostly dumb. I know that major awards shows are stupid. Still, every single time nominations for whatever come out, I get upset. Same thing with those stupid lad mag lists that rank attractive women. I’m part of the problem. I know that. Here are the major nominations.
Outstanding Comedy Series
“Parks and Recreation”
“The Big Bang Theory”
30 Rock is the funniest show on the list. Parks & Rec is the best. Girls is admirably different. It’s neither as good as people say it is, nor as bad as people say it is. Veep is really good. The Big Bang Theory is inoffensive in their traditional sitcom conventions. The fact that people are still fooled by the pointless confessional, single-camera style of Modern Family is confounding. The show is horribly overrated and easily the least-funny show on this list. Though you do have to be a comedy genius to have Sofia Vergara wear low-cut tops and write for the most lazily stereotypical gay character in the history of television. Also, just forget that The League and Archer are funnier than four of these programs.
Outstanding Drama Series
“Game of Thrones”
Where is Justified? I’m a season and a half into Breaking Bad (in 3 days) and I’ll have caught up through what I heard is a legendary season 4 by Emmy night. I have no problem with any of these shows. Still, where is Justified?
Outstanding Lead Actress in a Comedy Series
Edie Falco – “Nurse Jackie”
Tina Fey – “30 Rock”
Amy Poehler, “Parks and Recreation”
Julia Louis-Dreyfus, “Veep”
Melissa McCarthy, “Mike & Molly”
Zooey Deschanel, “New Girl”
Lena Dunham, “Girls”
Anyone from Saturday Night Live.
Outstanding Lead Actor in a Comedy Series
Jim Parsons – “The Big Bang Theory”
Alec Baldwin – “30 Rock”
Louis C.K., “Louie”
Jon Cryer, “Two and a Half Men”
Larry David, “Curb Your Enthusiasm”
Don Cheadle,” “House of Lies”
If this award is for making the audience feel awkward, Louis has it locked up. If this award is for making people laugh, its Baldwin or L.D. If it is for being a person on television, Jon Cryer should have this locked up.
Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series
Kristen Wiig – “Saturday Night Live”
Sofia Vergara – “Modern Family”
Julie Bowen, “Modern Family”
Merritt Wever, “Nurse Jackie”
Kathryn Joosten, “Desperate Housewives”
Mayim Blalik, “The Big Bang Theory”
Well, Kristen Wiig might have made someone laugh at some point on SNL, right? Sofia Vergara certainly wears cleavage-bearing tops, doesn’t she!
Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series
Bill Hader, “Saturday Night Live”
Ty Burrell, ‘Modern Family”
Eric Stonestreet, “Modern Family”
Ed O’Neill, “Modern Family”
Jesse Tyler Ferguson, “Modern Family”
Max Greenfield, “New Girl”
Four nominations for Modern Family is absurd. Adam Pally got screwed. And no Ron Fucking Swanson?
Outstanding Lead Actress in a Drama Series
Kathy Bates – “Harry’s Law”
Claire Danes, “Homeland”
Julianna Margulies, “The Good Wife”
Elisabeth Moss, “Mad Men”
Glenn Close, “Damages”
Michelle Dockery, “Downton Abbey”
I’ve only seen Homeland and Downton Abbey. Claire Danes is great so she should obviously win.
Outstanding Lead Actor in a Drama Series
Steve Buscemi – “Boardwalk Empire”
Michael C. Hall – “Dexter”
Jon Hamm – “Mad Men”
Bryan Cranston, “Breaking Bad”
Damian Lewis, “Homeland”
Hugh Bonneville, “Downton Abbey”
Michael C. Hall is still terrific, despite how stupid Dexter has become. I have no problems with any of these people save the fact that none of them are named Timothy Olyphant!
Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Drama Series
Christina Hendricks, “Mad Men”
Maggie Smith, “Downton Abbey”
Archie Panjabi, “The Good Wife”
Christine Baranski, “The Good Wife”
Anna Gunn, “Breaking Bad”
Joanne Froggatt, “Downton Abbey”
I’m rooting for the chicken lady from Downton Abbey.
Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Drama Series
Aaron Paul, “Breaking Bad,”
Giancarlo Esposito, “Breaking Bad”
Brendan Coyle, “Downton Abbey”
Jim Carter, “Downton Abbey”
Jared Harris, “Mad Men”
Peter Dinklage, “Game of Thrones”
Peter Dinklage should win this award as long as GoT exists.