Roundup: Bikini Hockey League; Walrus Dances to Michael Jackson & Jordyn Wieber, Olympic Tears

Sophie Turner … there have been 11 bomb scares at Walmarts in Kansas and Missouri since Friday … man charged with feeding gator after losing his hand … there are too many lobsters in Maine! … he claimed to be Justin Bieber when cops arrested him for being drunk  … blah blah blah Denver Broncos cheerleaders … a prequel to the Shining? … her book on Rod Blagojevich sounds terrific … this story out of Uganda is terrible … Batman and political undertones … everybody hates NBC’s Olympic tape delay

“We are talking about sportswriters, a famously shopworn and bibulous lot … [Times]

Andre Johnson of the Texans strained his groin, and given the last two seasons, expect a columnist in Texas to give him the “brittle” tag. [Ultimate Texans]

Nicolas Batum, after the US beat France by 27 in the Olympics: “I think some team can beat them, really. Spain, Argentina, Brazil. A lot of teams can beat them.” [NY Post]

Mark Emmert couldn’t have been happy to read this. [Chronicle of Higher Education]

Jordyn Wieber, the USA gymnastic star, failed to qualify for the all-around finals. [Fox Sports]

You know who took Wieber’s spot? Her best friend, Aly Raisman. [USA Today]

Naturally, the Bikini hockey league will be wildly popular. [The Daily]

James Harden, who played at Arizona State, said he’s open to signing with the Suns. This won’t be the last team he says that about. [Sportando]

ESPN’s Chris Broussard with some pretty weak excuses for his NBA free agent struggles. [Poynter]

“More sex abuse victims speak out in Charlotte area, nationwide after Jerry Sandusky convictions.” [Charlotte Observer]

First of many, many articles you’ll read on Matt Barkley’s Heisman campaign. [LA Times]

Extremely sad: Drunk driver causes head-on collision, accident kills infant son of college basketball coach. [Star Trib]

“In embarking on this quest, Smith, now 27, appears guided by the philosophy of the British mountaineer George Mallory, who, when asked why he wanted to climb Mount Everest, quipped, ‘Because it’s there.'” [NYT]

A Walrus dances to Michael Jackson in Turkey.

The best video fail for the month of July.

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