Roundup: Man Beaten Up After Operating Heavy Machinery Drunk, Florida State Loses Star for the Season & Hulk to Russian Premiere League

Minka Kelly … the rise of RedditRyan Seacrest has built quite an empire … actor Michael Clarke Duncan died at the age of 54 …  2011 “Educator of the Year” in NJ charged with having sexual relationship with 15-year-oldDebo plead guilty to mortgage fraud scheme … what killed this shark? … interesting read about Michael Jackson’s tour struggles in 2008 and 2009 … Matt Taibbi on Mitt Romney and Bain Capital … “Summer Movie Attendance Likely Lowest in Two Decades” … Hulk is going to the Russian Premiere League …

Brandon Jenkins, the Florida State defensive end who could be a 1st round pick next April, is out for the season due to a foot injury. [CBS Sports]

Yeah, as if the Twins could have tried to raise ticket prices. [Star Trib]

The Honey Badger is re-enrolling at LSU, but obviously won’t be playing football. [NOLA]

Ben McGrath has some thoughts on Joe Posnanski’s book on Paterno. [New Yorker]

When Peyton Manning wanted to play in the Colts’ opener last season, they told him he threw like Chad Pennington. [NYT]

Interesting, lengthy read on Lance Armstrong written by his former assistant. [Outside]

Startling look at the roster turnover the Red Sox have had since Opening Day. [Providence Journal]

Two days after an embarrassing season-opening loss to Texas State, Houston fired its offensive coordinator. [Chronicle]

A Jaguars scout talks about his life with Parkinson’s Disease. [Jaguars.com]

Will Muschamp has dumped the QB-by-quarters plan and named Jeff Driskel the starter. [Sun Sentinel]

“He is the world’s only working dog, marine biologists say, able to find and track the scent of orca scat, or feces, in open ocean water — up to a mile away, in the smallest of specks.” [Times]

Moron picks Rutgers to lose in the BCS title game to Alabama. [Plain Dealer]

Luke Donald apologies for calling Gil Hanse a “cock” on twitter. [Wei Under Par]

RIP Mac Thomason of Braves Journal. [Joe Posnanski]

How drunk must this guy have been? He catches a beating after wrecking a few cars.

For a high school player, that’s a really nice dunk. [via Jersey Chaser]

That sure is one sensitive plant. [via Herbie]

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