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Roundup: Dylan Bundy Called Up By Orioles, Lindsay Lohan Arrested Again & 49ers Linebacker Suspended For DUI

Penelope Cruz … Lindsay Lohan was arrested again early this morning … Kentucky man arrested for riding a horse under the influence … farmhand arrested for having sex with a miniature donkey … obesity rates expected to soar by 2030 … piece of papyrus leads historian to ask, “did Jesus have a wife?” … Tom Shales is no fan of Seth McFarlane … “Chef told police he cooked his wife’s body for four days” … one of the 76ers co-owners is a party animal …

Courageous, must-read feature about talented sportscaster Trenni Kusnierek. [Milwaukee Mag]

Dylan Bundy, he of the knee-buckling curveball, has been called up by the Orioles. [Fox]

Alex Morgan says she gets marriage proposals on twitter basically every day. [SI]

San Francisco LB Clark Haggans suspended for three games for an “extreme DUI” in 2011. [Sac Bee]

Access to Pac-12 football practices is dwindling. Media hates this. Do fans care? [Seattle Times]

Richard Sandomir on the death of Steve Sabol. [NYT]

Miguel Cabrera is close to the triple crown. He trails Josh Hamilton by two homers and leads the AL in RBI and batting average. [Detroit News]

Whitlock goes in on the refs/Goodell in his NFL truths column. [Fox Sports]

Oregon Ducks have a tight end whose name is Lake Keawekoaikamakaokalani Ka’ai. [Oregonian]

Rookie Brock Osweiler was told he was going to throw the hail mary pass on Monday Night Football if the Broncos got close enough. [Post]

Floyd Mayweather, fresh out of jail, could be in trouble again following a verbal altercation with a woman. [LVRJ]

Well if you throw the Yankees on Fox on Saturday afternoon, of course people are going to watch! [Sports Media Watch]

“UNC-Chapel Hill’s dental foundation released a three-year-old report Tuesday that said Tami Hansbrough did not receive proper approval for a trip to Memphis in which her son, Tyler, was playing for the basketball team in the NCAA Tournament.” [News & Observer]

Every college football fan in 53 seconds.

Three weeks old, but watch this Cheetah jump on the hood of a vehicle on a safari.

Impressive TD run. [via Hot Clicks]

Guy hit by a car crossing the street in Europe. After watching him get hit, rewind and look for the crosswalk he should have used. [via Adam]

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