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NFL Pigskin Pigsplosion Preview Picks and Cheerleaders

Last week: Jason 6-7, Stephen 8-4 (We were drunk and never made a pick on Chicago-Jacksonville)

Overall: Jason 39-34-3, Stephen 33-37-3

Cincinnati (-3) @ Cleveland
Jason: Joe Haden is back. All of Cleveland’s problems are solved. (Browns)

Stephen: This is where I joke about the battle of Ohio. (Bengals)

Indianapolis (+3) @ New York Jets
Jason: The quarterbacks with the two lowest completion percentages face off. See? Sanchez has something in common with Luck. (Jets)

Stephen: I’ll be chanting “Tebow” from a bar all day. Let’s see if it works. (Colts)

Kansas City (+4.5) @ Tampa Bay
Jason: The Brady Quinn era begins in Kansas City. Otherwise known as “when does college basketball start?” (Chiefs)

Stephen: Wait, I was 8-4 last week? Somebody spot me for next year’s super contest. (Bucs)

Oakland (+9.5) @ Atlanta
Jason: Matt Ryan only managed to score 2 points in a playoff game. I know this because the “analysts” on ESPN keep reminding me on Sunday morning. (Falcons)

Stephen: Technically, Matt Ryan didn’t score any points if his team scored 2. (Falcons)

Dallas (+4) @ Baltimore
Jason: I wish all these people saying that Ray Lewis is done would say it to his face. Just make sure you are within 2 yards so he can still get to you, tough guys. (Cowboys)

Stephen: You guys watch The League last night? (Ravens)

St. Louis (+4) @ Miami
Jason: The “Jeff Fisher picked us, not you” Bowl. (Dolphins)

Stephen: RIP Danny Amendola and RIP my fantasy team. (Dolphins)

New England (-4) @ Seattle
Jason: After Seattle’s corners shut down Wes Welker, Bill will stick it in his face. (Seahawks)

Stephen: Let’s just hope FOX shoots that video again, but with Frank Caliendo! (Patriots)

Buffalo (+5) @ Arizona
Jason: Teams that give up more than 550 yards in consecutive games are 1-0 against the spread all-time since 1950. (Bills)

Stephen: Go Bills. (Bills)

Minnesota (+1.5) @ Washington
Jason: I feel sorry for Vikings fans for suffering through that one year in the last thirty where they lost at least 12 games. (Vikings)

Stephen: Yeah, that sounds rough. (Vikings)

New York Giants (+4.5) @ San Francisco
Jason: The Giants will need some fumbled punts in this one. (49ers)

Stephen: The Giants will play the Niners tough, lose and then beat them in the playoffs. It is what it is, my man. (Giants)

Green Bay (+3) @ Houston
Jason: The battle of two teams that won a Championship in 1961 (Houston)

Stephen: Good game. Good match up. (Texans)

Denver (+1.5) @ San Diego
Jason: Been waiting all year to pound the line when Norv Turner matches wits with Peyton Manning. (Broncos)

Stephen: Forget the line, we’re pounding the under. (Chargers)

[UPDATE: Philadelphia and Detroit also play this week. Jason will take the Eagles -3.5. Stephen is, wait for it, involved in some sort of wedding thing this weekend.]

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