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Colin Kaepernick Tattoo Column is as Predictably Lazy as You Might Imagine, and Horribly Racist, Too [UPDATE]

David Whitley, a columnist at AOL Fanhouse – which, I guess, is still a website – is a racist. [UPDATE: Bad job by me. Poor wording. I thought Whitley wrote a racist column. Having never met him, I should not have called him a racist.] How else can you explain this lede to his truly awful, unbelievably lazy Colin Kaepernick column?

San Francisco’s Colin Kaepernick is going to be a big-time NFL quarterback. That must make the guys in San Quentin happy.

Approximately 98.7 percent of the inmates at California’s state prison have tattoos. I don’t know that as fact, but I’ve watched enough “Lockup” to know it’s close to accurate.

I’m also pretty sure less than 1.3 percent of NFL quarterbacks have tattoos. There’s a reason for that.

NFL quarterback is the ultimate position of influence and responsibility. He is the CEO of a high-profile organization, and you don’t want your CEO to look like he just got paroled.

Jerry Richardson, is that you?

What’s rattling around in Whitley’s empty head: Hey! Who are these black guys with their jailhouse tats taking over at QB! That’s a position only for clean cut white guys! And if these black guys insist on tattoos, they must be of the business variety, like Kevin Durant!

I urge you to not click the link and give Whitley what he so badly desires – clicks – but just read this snippet and be done with this clown, and let’s never mention him again.

For dinosaurs like me, NFL quarterbacks were our little Dutch boys. The original hero stuck his finger in the dyke to save Holland. Pro QBs were the last line of defense against the raging sea of ink. When our kids said they wanted a tattoo, we could always point to the Manning brothers.

My guess is Archie would have made Peyton throw an extra 1,000 passes before dinner if he’d come home with a tattoo. The old man knew QBs are different.

Did Sammy Baugh, Johnny Unitas, Doug Williams or Joe Montana have arms covered in ink? Do Tom Brady, Drew Brees or Aaron Rodgers? The world will end when Tim Tebow shows up a tattoo parlor.

The next time we hear from Whitley, he’ll be jousting on First Take. Clearly, he’s auditioning to be the next Skip Bayless.

[If you really feel like you need to read Whitley’s tripe, here’s the piece of shit column.]

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