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NFL Pigskin Pigsplosion Picks

Baltimore (+3) @ Washington
Lisk: Baltimore’s offense really struggles when they have to travel, even if it is 20 miles. (Redskins)

CRM: Local sports radio guy was talking about Joe Flacco this week. Said Flacco was a step below elite. I laughed. (Redskins)

Kansas City (+6.5) @ Cleveland
Lisk: Peyton Hillis and Joe Thomas are having the worst feud between a fullback and a tackle ever. (Browns)

CRM: Puke. (Chiefs)

San Diego (+7.5) @ Pittsburgh
Lisk: Norv Turner is going to be fired, everyone. This is when Norv Turner proceeds to not get fired. (Chargers)

CRM: Maybe there’s a Law & Order marathon on Sunday? (Steelers)

Tennessee (+6) @ Indianapolis
Lisk: The Colts are underdogs for the first 55 minutes in this one, but expected to roll late (Titans)

CRM: Do you think the Titans miss Matt Hasselbeck more than the Colts miss Peyton Manning? (Colts)

New York Jets (-3) @Jacksonville
Lisk: The loser has to take Tim Tebow. (Jets)

CRM: The Jaguars would gladly take Tim Tebow because their coach probably doesn’t hate Tim Tebow as much as Rex Ryan hates Tim Tebow. (Jets)

Chicago (-3) @ Minnesota
Lisk: Mr. Cavallari and Mr. Steele in a cage match in this one. (Bears)

CRM: Adrian Peterson is freaking amazing. Full-on Purple Jesus mode. (Bears)

Atlanta (-3.5) @ Carolina
Lisk: The Panthers are furiously practicing situational football this week so they have all the possible ways of losing covered. (Panthers)

CRM: The Falcons playoff loss is going to be so great. (Falcons)

Philadelphia (+7.5) @ Tampa Bay
Lisk: Saying Bryce Brown carries a football like a loaf of bread is an insult to people who actually carry loaves of bread. (Bucs)

CRM: Michael Vick and LeSean McCoy were on my fantasy team this year. /weeps for what could have been (Bucs)

St. Louis (+3) @ Buffalo
Lisk: Both of these teams have had Ryan Fitzpatrick quarterback them. In other news, both of these teams never make the playoffs. (Bills)

CRM: If the Bills would just give Fitzpatrick and extension, he could stop worrying and play football. (Bills)

Dallas (+3) @ Cincinnati
Lisk: Geno Atkins is going against the Dallas offensive line. It’s a mismatch, even if no one else plays with him. (Cowboys)

CRM: Andy Dalton is my ginger fantasy hero. That sounds weird in almost every context. (Bengals)

Miami (+10) @ San Francisco
Lisk: Quarterbacks should not have tattoos. They should have hot wives that bring us page views. (49ers)

CRM: Alex Smith was turned into an expert game manager and now he has to sit the bench. Life is not fair. (49ers)

New Orleans (+5) @ New York Giants
Lisk: Drew Brees is the quarterback on half my fantasy teams in the playoff this week. He better decide to actually show up and throw to the right team. (Giants)

CRM: The Giants never turn it on until the playoffs anyway. (Saints)

Arizona (+10) @ Seattle
Lisk: An APB has been issued for Larry Fitzgerald, suspected killed at the hands of the Arizona quarterbacks. (Cardinals)

CRM: Coffee! (Seahawks)

Detroit (+7) @ Green Bay
Lisk: I look forward to the 2014 Detroit Lions calendar featuring Matt Millen on the cover. (Packers)

CRM: Look at that cheerleader. (Packers)

Houston (+4) @ New England
Lisk: The Texans play like an outdoor team, which could come in handy in a few weeks if they do not win this one. (Texans)

CRM: Both these teams use a bunch of running backs. I think. (Patriots)

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