Tiki Barber Will Be Nice to You After You Literally Shit On Him

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Tiki Barber went on Howard Stern this morning. He said the following: “If someone literally shits on me, I’ll still be nice to them.” Either he literally does not understand what literally means, or he’s down with some abnormal bedroom activity.

The former running back also offered some sage parenting advice: “It’s hard to mess up kids. As long as you don’t beat them, they’ll turn out OK.”

It’s startling how this man has struggled finding a media outlet where he can share his opinions on a multitude of topics.

[HT to @JimmyTraina]

Related: Tiki Barber Will Play on Your Flag Football (or Basketball or Kickball) Team For $1,950
Related: Here’s Audio of that Contentious Interview Between Mike Francesa and Tiki Barber
Related: Tiki Barber Ditched His Pregnant Wife for 23-Year-Old Former NBC Intern Traci Lynn Johnson