I plan on sleeping instead of watching the next movie featuring John McClane

not shocking. mcclane has sucked for years.

all he does is ask questions- do you think the texans are good? should the texans wear game day read? who are the texans? did the texans make fun of my penis?

butthole.

You have me at a loss. You know my name but who are you? Just another American who saw too many movies as a child? Another orphan of a bankrupt culture who thinks he’s John Wayne?

Yeah he is pretty terrible. And arrogant. Bit of a name dropper, too. Also looks like a walrus.

Yeah he is pretty terrible. And arrogant. Bit of a name dropper, too. Also looks like a walrus.

Just to be clear, I am talking about John McClain, not John McClane or John McCain.

Yeah he is pretty terrible. And arrogant. Bit of a name dropper, too. Also looks like a walrus.

You could be a Browns fan describing Mike Holmgren with this description.

But when will he mud wrestle Ray Ratto?

This guy looks like he can sleep standing up.

(Keep all comments on how many times you have fallen asleep reading them to yourselves, please).

What if it’s a really sweet zinger, though?

But when will he mud wrestle Ray Ratto?

You’d like that as a fellow fatty.

You say your name was Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzeus?

John McClain Was Asleep On Air

That should be known as a Francesa, no?

Yeah he is pretty terrible. And arrogant. Bit of a name dropper, too. Also looks like a walrus.

He was at his worse during the whole “Should the Texans take Reggie Bush or Vince Young” draft year. Every time the Texans sent out indications that they were still thinking of taking Bush (at least of course until they settled on Mario Williams) McClain would write a new column talking about how this new piece of information was only further evidence that the Texans were in fact still taking Vince Young.

Hans Gruber falling out of window > John McClain falling asleep

Now I have a Hostess snack. Ho-Ho-Hos

McClain is an assclown of the utmost degree. He was on a local radio show recently to talk about the Texans, instead he brushed off all football questions by basically saying the Texans suck, so why talk about them, then used the air time to promote a movie he is in with Paris Hilton. No lie. I forget the name of the movie but it takes place during Spring Break.

I forget the name of the movie but it takes place during Spring Break.

The Walrus goes to Arby’s- The spring break misadventures of a fat assplug and a droopy meat curtain whore!

“at his worse”? Great grammar jack wagon.

McClain is an assclown of the utmost degree. He was on a local radio show recently to talk about the Texans, instead he brushed off all football questions by basically saying the Texans suck, so why talk about them, then used the air time to promote a movie he is in with Paris Hilton. No lie. I forget the name of the movie but it takes place during Spring Break.

He’s in Springbreakers.

chins ahoy!

But when will he mud wrestle Ray Ratto?

You’d like that as a fellow fatty.

Ratto is perfectly disgruntled for his appearance. Kills me.

You may remember McClain from the Longest Yard remake, or the Dennis Quaid becomes a pitcher movie (I don’t remember the name).

If you don’t, he’ll be sure to remind you of it.