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Florida Freshman Football Player Jessamen Dunker Charged With Grand Theft Auto ... For Stealing a Moped

According to Robbie Andreu of the Gainesville Sun, freshman offensive lineman Jessamen Dunker is in deep trouble. He is being held in jail on the felony count of grand theft auto. Sounds like a tough guy.

The theft was of a moped. Let’s rate this version of Grand Theft Auto M for Moron.

I’m now trying to picture a college offensive lineman moving around campus on a moped. Almost as ridiculous as when Arian Foster gave all of his linemen segways.

If you are going to get popped in college, let it be for tattoos and not for mopeds.

[Update: According to Jason Lieser of the Palm Beach Post, Dunker was pulled over on campus for following too closely and having an expired license. The moped was also discovered to have been reported stolen. Dunker claims that he did purchase the moped.]

 

[photo via mit.edu, of course]

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