Ashley Greene, again … Dear Abby has passed away at 94 … lawyer has sex with client, bills her for those hours … after outsourcing his job to China, he watched cat videos … Luther Campbell vs. Spike Lee … can I interest you in a Robert Caro feature? … Russia mafia don shot by sniper … high school basketball game ends with teenager shot and killed … this man ran into a law office naked … “Records detail librarian’s quest for sex with New Rochelle teen” … paper tries to make Mel Gibson/Jodie Foster connection …
Impressive road win: Michigan 83, Minnesota 75. [Detroit News]
Bruce Arians is the new coach of the Arizona Cardinals. [Republic]
Aaron Rodgers says the read option is just a fad. I suspect many people agree with him. [JS Online]
Al Pacino as Joe Paterno? It’s happening. [Deadline.com]
Chip Kelly, “doesn’t care about the salary cap, contracts, or the waiver wire.” Good luck! [Philly.com]
With the 1st pick in the 2013 MLS draft, the New England Revolution selected Louisville defender Andrew Farrell. [Goal.com]
Inside the secret whistleblower case against Lance Armstrong — former teammate Floyd Landis’ lawsuit nails cycling cheat. [NYDN]
Remember how everyone compared Brad Beal to Ray Allen? Ben McLemore might be a better comparison. [SI]
Ronaiah Tuiasosopo, Alleged Mastermind Behind Manti Te’o Girlfriend Hoax, Auditioned for The Voice. [US Weekly]
That hot start by Illinois? Forget about it. The Illini just lost to Northwestern, at home 68-54. [Tribune]
There’s No Such Thing as an Ironic Gun Nut. [Atlantic Wire]
Missed this Kevin Durant dunk Wednesday night. He got a tech for yelling after it.
Bench press fail. Don’t worry, this doesn’t end badly. [via Adam]
Lance Armstrong spoke to Oprah last night. Did you watch?