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The Oscar Nominees For Best Picture Are Like These Athletes, Teams and Leagues You Know

The 85th annual Academy Awards – a.k.a. “The Oscars” – take place Sunday night, live from Hollywood, California, the home of the movies. As usual, these movie awards are hotly contested with such blockbuster hits as Amour, Argo, Beasts of the Southern Wild, Django Unchained, Les Misérables, Life of Pi, Lincoln, Silver Linings Playbook, Zero Dark Thirty competing for the top spot, or as industry insiders call it – “The Best Picture Oscar.” But did you know that the best picture nominees have parallels to the sports world? Well, it is true and I have the listicle to prove it!

Amour is the NHL

You’ve never heard of any of these people, they’re foreign and this movie has as much of a chance at winning Best Picture as hockey does leading SportsCenter.

Argo is Lance Armstrong

Argo fuck yourself.

Beasts of the Southern Wild is Jadaveon Clowney

Because this is what I see when I see this gif of Jadaveon Clowney.

Django Unchained is Jimmer Freddete

I see no major difference between Django Unchained and Free Jimmer. #Djimmer

Les Misérables is the Los Angeles Lakers

So many stars, but in the end, long and painful to sit through. Except instead of singing, Dwight Howard talks. There is an equal amount of self-satisfaction.

Life of Pi is A.J. McCarron

I regret nothing. /adjusts monocle

Lincoln is DeShawn Stevenson

Lincoln is a movie about a guy who was famous for his hat and beard. That movie made a lot of money. DeShawn Stevenson is a guy who wears a hat, has a beard and has an ATM in his house. Also, he has a *bleeping* tattoo of Abe Lincoln on his throat.

Silver Linings Playbook is Danica Patrick

Danica Patrick is coming off another amazing Go Daddy commercial and she just won pole position for this weekend’s Daytona 500. Silver Linings Playbook is also one of the favorites to win on Sunday. Plus, people are Googling Danica Patrick this week, right!?

Zero Dark Thirty is LeBron James

The whole damn league is Osama bin Laden.

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