Emilia Clarke, who was just dumped by Seth McFarlane … Obama tries to revive Middle East peace process… 300 injured in multi-car pileup near Edmonton … USC student died in Cabo … Foreign object stuck in vagina memoirs … The Iraq War’s influence on Russian foreign policy … Global Warming has been good for archaeologists … Academic papers about 90s TV shows … Octomom being investigated for welfare fraud … Innocent man convicted of killing rabbi freed … The New Yorker rejected a story already published in The New Yorker
Former college basketball players recall how it felt to upset Duke in the NCAA Tournament. [Slate]
Thou shalt not get access to Tebow. [Romenesko]
Apple has patent for an iPhone that recognizes it is falling mid-flight and shifts to protect screen. Customers aged 18-34 (myself included) rejoice. [Apple Insider]
A day spent with ESPN’s NCAA Tournament analysts. Spoiler: Digger’s highlighters are not just for flourish. [Hartford Courant]
Florida communities are worried upstart Arizonan towns will steal Spring Training teams. [NPR]
Escort charged with attempted second degree murder after biting penis. [ClickOrlando]
Sleeved basketball uniforms may be the unsightly future. [New Republic]
Bad lip reading: NBA Edition. [Bro Bible]
Chicago columnist wants Wrigley scoreboard to be torn down. Troll baby troll. [Chicago Tribune]
A 90-year-old Pennsylvania man was arrested for punching a police officer. [CBS Philly]
Here’s what Marshall Henderson was like in high school. [Star Telegram]
Not swearing during a sports broadcast is harder than you fucking think. Dan Dakich struggles. [WSJ]
Tampa Bay thinks Fernando Rodney got overworked in Bud Selig’s World Baseball Classic. [TB Times]
Next local news Internet meme?
Four minutes of Gary Oldman losing it.
Freakishly large Pee Wee running back trucks much smaller tackler.
The Drugs Don’t Work…
[Photo via Getty]