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Roundup: Sergio Garcia Climbed a Tree to Swing a Golf Club, MMA Announcer Struggles with "Mainus" & Vanessa Hudgens Booty Poppin'

Katy Perry … terminal cancer patient wins marathon … his job: Full-time barbecue editor … “Scottdale mansion’s caretaker accused of drinking $102K worth of historic whiskey” … who created Spring Break? … who knew Steve Harvey’s daytime show was so popular? … how about a free market for college athletes? … “Africa’s genital-stealing crime wave hits the countryside” …

According to a 6-year study, 50 percent of NFL free agents “didn’t pan out.” So if your team did nothing this year … great? [JS Online]

Kansas blasted UNC, but remember 10 years ago, when Roy left for UNC? Recapping how Kansas landed Bill Self. [Star]

Theory on why Ben Howland was fired: because the Bruins were lousy at the box office. [Variety]

James Harden was clutch, and the Rockets beat the Spurs. [Chronicle]

The soccer revival of DeMarcus Beasley. [SI]

Tremendous story about a Nebraska high school basketball player who lives with another family because his father killed his mother. [World-Herald]

Fred Hoiberg, whose Iowa State Cyclones nearly beat Ohio State, could be coaching in the NBA next year. [Yahoo]

Dan LeBatard on the Miami Heat’s win streak. [Herald]

And if you missed it while watching college football, yes, Miami won No. 26 in a row last night, slaughtering the Bobcats without D Wade. [Sun Sentinel]

Elvis Dumervil, who didn’t stay with the Broncos due to a fax mishap, has signed with the Baltimore Ravens. [Sun]

Good read on Jayson Werth, the Nationals outfielder who isn’t good with first impressions. [Wash Post]

Scottt Fujita, a linebacker on the Browns, wrote a piece for the Times about same-sex marriage. [NYT]

High school power lifter in Texas bench presses 700 pounds. [Dallas Morning News]

Vanessa Hudgens booty poppin’.

Sergio Garcia climbed a tree this weekend. On the golf course. [via commenter Ritty Rich]

“Mainus is relaxed on the canvas.” It sounds funny, trust me. [via Cartmaniak]

This report is a serious one … until the dogs start humping. [via Hot Clicks]

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