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Kentucky Derby Hats: Please Make it Stop

138th Kentucky Derby

Perhaps a member of the fairer sex can chime in here to help me out.

Not to get all Jerry Seinfeld, but what’s the deal with those Kentucky Hats?

Is it an unwritten contest of who can look the the most outlandish?

Are the women who chose to wear these hats gunning to land on Buzzfeed’s list of 457 Wackiest Hats Seen at the Kentucky Derby?

Could the wearers of these comically over-sized hats actually think they look fashionable — before downing a couple mint juleps in the midday sun?

This seems to be a recent phenomena, or at least more prevalent in the Internet age. In quainter, more sepia-toned times, these hat-wearers lorded their feelings of superiority over us … but at least they did so without trying to wind up on a slideshow.

Even more maddening, are the Hollywood celebrities lining the high-priced boxes who simply can’t get enough of the shutterbugs snapping away at their garish hats, if only to reaffirm how much better they are than us unwashed commoners.

In one regard, to be fair, these giant hats are good for blocking the sun so they do serve some practical purpose.

Still, consider me stumped by all of this, although bear in mind any t-shirt without a visible mustard stain on it qualifies as high fashion in my book.

Anyways, I’m going to go sit in the car and wait this one out, thinking of giants hats that actually serve a purpose, like this one.

[Photo via Getty]

 

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