Russell Wilson appears to be in the middle of a bizarre love triangle. A Seahawks fan/reddit user posted a video of a song that his wife wrote about Russell Wilson. It borrows from the old Dolly Parton hit “Jolene”, and is of course, entitled “Russie.” “Jolene” is a song about a woman pleading with another temptress not to steal her husband. In our latest version, the singer is pleading with Russell Wilson to stop stealing the affections of her man.
It appears, though, that we may need to keep an eye out for Wilson stealing someone else. Among the innuendo-filled verses include “your deep ball is beyond compare” and “you’re shorter than your average man, but powerful with giant hands.”
For comparison, here you can try to figure out why Dolly Parton was worried about someone named Jolene.