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Game of Thrones: "Second Sons" Recap

Arya and The Hound – I knew those two would get along eventually! Sure, Arya began the episode by trying to bash The Hound’s head in, but once they got on the road and started talking weddings who wouldn’t bond?

The Mountain – While Gregor Clegane did not appear, we learned that he once killed a man for snoring.

Dany – Why did she meet with the Second Sons without her dragons present? What else could they possibly have been doing? They’re dragons. Its not like they are checking inventory or leading sexual harassment seminars for the Unsullied. Come on dragons. You had one job! As for her new ally, I wonder if he will be her rebound from Khal Drogo?

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Daario – As the leaders of the Second Sons were shown and they panned to Daario, I thought out loud, “Well, he’s pretty.” I knew he was destined for… something. If he’s looking for a maiden in the streets and three dragons in bed, he’s going to be happy.

Davos – He’s learning to read. This is the opposite of what Theon has been up to.

Sansa – 14 years old. Sophie Turner turned 17 in February. Thank whatever Gods you keep that Tyrion didn’t go through with it after the wedding. I’m pretty sure we all would have gone to jail. Everyone from George R.R. Martin to the person who uses your HBO Go account to watch 3 days later. Also, she should have known to kneel for Tyrion. Be cool.

Cersei – “If you ever call me sister again, I’ll have you strangled in your sleep.” “Nobody cares what your father once told you.”

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Margaery – All she wants to do is be queen and be best friends forever with her future sister-in-law.

Queen of Thorns – Why is she running through who everyone becomes once everybody gets married? Doesn’t matter. She even loves to torture her own family it seems.

Joffrey – Dick.

tyrion-tits-and-wineTyrion – For someone that drinks so much, this is the first time we have seen Tyrion completely wasted. What a horrible wedding. I mean, the wedding scenes were funny, sad, pathetic and awkward all at once. Well done all around. To think Tyrion could have completely saved the party if he had just killed Joffrey. (gif via Warming Glow)

Gendry – I assume he lost his virginity in that scene. What a way to go.

Sam and Gilly – Who would have imagined that Sam would be put in this episode to provide the action? Perhaps Sam should have picked up the dragonglass weapon before running.

Second Sons Slave Girl – Meet Talitha Luke-Eardley, an English model and dancer who played the Yunkai whore. Fun fact: Pleasure-slaves are the Yunkai’s chief export. Put that in your book report. (Images via)

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