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Roundup: Cap'n Crunch is Not Really a Captain, Giant Yellow Snake Opens a Door & Saints Cheerleaders Sing Taylor Swift

beyonceBeyonce … no food stamps for soda? … “Florida man beaten, robbed, stripped naked on first date” … Bishop at Texas church asks for donations to replace helicopter blades … man is angry Malcolm Gladwell isn’t tweeting … it took us this long to figure out Cap’n Crunch is not really a Captain? … older brother practices WWE wrestling moves on younger sister, kills her accidentally … did you know caffeine cramps creativity? … “How Poor Students Subsidize Unworthy College Sports” … this sounds like such a bad boat trip … great column on Whitey BulgerRIP Michael Hastings of Rolling Stone, who died in this fiery crashshark attack in Hawaii …

Keyshawn Johnson will coach the wide receivers at Mission Viejo High School. His son is a freshman at the school. [OC Varsity]

The Clippers-Celtics blockbuster deal fell apart Tuesday, but what does this mean about Doc Rivers returning to Boston? [Yahoo Sports]

Why does everyone love to hate Phil Mickelson? [LA Times]

Here’s a lengthy profile of Serena Williams in which she says some things that may irk some people. Thank you for your candor, Serena. Refreshing, that. [Rolling Stone]

Hotel prices skyrocket during weekends of big SEC games. [WSJ]

Greg Whittington, Georgetown’s best returning player, has a torn ACL and will miss most of the 2013-2014 season. [ESPN.com]

The Sports Media in 2013: When Johnny Manziel tweets end up on the front of a newspaper. [Chronicle]

So what happened to the 1-Iron? [NYT]

Spain 4, Italy 2 in the U-21 Euro Championship game. [Orange Sport]

I read this as an obit for the National Sports Columnist. The Sports of the Times column has gone missing. [Grantland]

The Chicago Blackhawks, despite all this winning, are losing money? [Crain’s]

So, who wants Monta Ellis? [Journal-Sentinel]

Patty Mills and the art of the towel waving on the Spurs bench. [Express-News]

Andrew Wiggins did a fairly impressive job at his first Kansas practice. [CBS Sports]

Over 60 years ago, Vin Scully nearly became a Yankee. [WSJ]

Russell Brand mocks the media. Gets good around the 4:15 mark. Gets awkward around the 6-minute mark. Funny around the 6:50 mark. [via Hot Clicks]

Giant snake opening a door will haunt your dreams. So will the thud of the snake hitting the floor.

So I guess NFL cheerleaders love to do a version of this Taylor Swift song?

Aaron Gordon, who is going to be nasty for Arizona next year, did this. [via College Basketball Talk]

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