Twitter can be a wonderful thing, an ugly thing, and a truly pointless thing. It really depends on who you follow and what you decide to contribute. For professional athletes, the experience can be a bit trickier unless they have the self control to never peek at their mentions. Nonetheless, there are plenty of athletes using Twitter and doing it well. There are also many athletes that bring nothing to the table. I’m here to celebrate that heaping portion of nothingness. And yes, it goes without saying that at least 603 other athletes could qualify to be in the Top 10.
10. Dwight Howard
Hello World, Hello LA. Hitting practice hard today.
— Dwight Howard (@DwightHoward) December 20, 2012
Howard almost used Twitter as the platform to announce where he’d be signing last month but promptly shot down those brief rumors, in turn blowing a great opportunity to do something unique and fun. Having a date and time scheduled to tweet the announcement would have had millions of Twitter users panting and foaming at the mouth leading up to his decision. Alas, it was not to be. Typical Dwight Howard. So close, yet so very far. Additionally, one of my general unwritten rules of Twitter is that anyone who begins a tweet with “hello world” is an immediate candidate for an unfollow. Use of “tweeps” is a very close second.
9. Pau Gasol
Good morning everyone! On my way to swimming pool and right after it to the weight room. Let’s have a great day!
— Pau Gasol (@paugasol) August 20, 2013
Pau Gasol seems like an endlessly nice individual. Having said that, his feed is about as enjoyable as electrocuting your eyelids.
8. Kevin Kolb
Now it’s time to go to work!
— Kevin Kolb (@KevinKolb_4) July 28, 2011
He hasn’t tweeted a whole lot since joining in July of 2011, however of the 12 tweets he’s composed 10 contain exclamation points. I hate exclamation points.
7. Drew Brees
— Drew Brees (@drewbrees) August 12, 2013
Some of you might be thinking it’s unfair to criticize the bigger names for having lame feeds, since being a big star somewhat limits where and how far one can go in terms of topic matter. But that’s not entirely true. There are plenty of stars that still manage to entertain in some capacity despite the given limitations. Aaron Rodgers is a great example. So is LeBron James. Drew Brees is not. Oh neat, another tweet about signed memorabilia? I think it moved. Time Magazine naming Brees’ feed one of the Top 140 follows of 2013 was funnier than Eddie Murphy Raw.
— Alex Rodriguez (@AROD) July 6, 2013
No one expected this to be good, and it has not been good.
Congrats to Nieder and Shanny to become Hall of famer!!!!
— Martin Brodeur (@MartinBrodeur) July 10, 2013
Another horrendous abuser of exclamation points. Just awful.
4. Yasiel Puig
Arriving at Philadelphia http://t.co/BH24b7QKfL
— yasielpuig (@YasielPuig) August 16, 2013
If it’s a tweet from Dodgers rookie sensation Yasiel Puig, there’s a healthy chance it contains an Instagram link. Don’t be surprised if said tweet also includes “Acabo de publicar una foto.”
Come on buddy, a little variety might help break up the monotony.
3. Lamar Odom
.@ScottDisick LOL, u’ll never have the hops to elevate like me bro!
— LAMAR ODOM (@RealLamarOdom) April 22, 2013
Looking to “LOL” at witty quips between an NBA player and Scott Disick or Rob Kardashian? This is the premier account to follow.
2. Buster Posey
— Buster Posey (@BusterPosey) July 24, 2013
Have you downloaded “BusterBashPRO” or checked out the official beverage of Buster Posey? Yeah, neither have I. This feed reads like a scorching pile of not so subtle PR spam with clearly no end in sight. No thanks.
Question @UnderCenterNBC, Will Baseball ever be Americas #1 sport again, yes or no?
— Donovan McNabb (@donovanjmcnabb) July 24, 2013
Question of the day: Does anyone follow Donovan McNabb for any reason other than to enjoy the unintentional comedy? He’s either promoting a show or asking the most mundane questions. Still somewhat shocked that Donovan hasn’t concocted a thought-provoking “Do you like sports? Yes or no” tweet. He’s that damn interesting. I give it three weeks.
Previously: Matt Garza Rips Eric Sogard and his Wife on Twitter: “Give Your Husband his Balls Back!”
Previously: Kobe Bryant Unfollows Dwight Howard on Twitter
Previously: NBA on TNT Twitter Account Possibly Hacked By Baby Genius
Previously: Gregg Doyel vs. Dan Le Batard Twitter Fight Was Fun
Previously: Dez Bryant is Prepared For Your Insults On Twitter, Will Probably Make Fun of You