Tiger Woods participated in some golf this year. He won five tournaments, but he didn’t win a Major so he’s not technically “back.” Brandel Chamblee mentioned Tiger in a column for Golf.com where he graded various PGA golfers for their performances this past season. When it came time to grade Tiger, Chamblee gave him an F, citing this one time in 4th grade when he got an F for cheating. It was a learning experience for everyone. From Golf.com:
Tiger Woods: When I was in the fourth grade, I cheated on a math test and when I got the paper back it had “100” written at the top and just below the grade, was this quote, “Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive!” It was an oft-quoted line from the epic poem “Marmion” by Sir Walter Scott, and my teacher’s message was clear. Written once more beneath that quote was my grade of “100”, but this time with a line drawn through it and beneath that an F. I never did ask my teacher how she knew I cheated and I certainly didn’t protest the grade. I knew I had done the wrong thing and my teacher the right, but I never forgot the way I felt when I read that quote.
I remember when we only talked about Tiger’s golf. I miss those days. He won five times and contended in majors and won the Vardon Trophy and … how shall we say this … was a little cavalier with the rules.*
Now for the fun part. The asterisk was attached to some links that highlighted the four times Tiger Woods was found guilty of rules infractions this season. Apparelty, comparing Tiger Woods to a 4th grader who cheated on a math test is a very big no-no. Here’s the level-headed response of Tiger Woods’ representation, Mark Steinberg (via ESPN.com):
“This is the most deplorable thing I have seen. I’m not one for hyperbole, but this is absolutely disgusting. Calling him a cheater? I’ll be shocked, stunned if something is not done about this. Something has to be done.
“There are certainly things that just don’t go without response. It’s atrocious. I’m not sure if there isn’t legal action to be taken. I have to give some thought to legal action.”
I’m not one for hyperbole, but this is the most appropriate reaction to anything that has ever happened in the entire world. Rick Reilly’s father-in-law wasn’t this upset when he found out Reilly had thrown him under the Redskins team bus.
“This is, ‘Hey, look at me,’ in its lowest form,” Steinberg said in his statement. “Brandel Chamblee’s comments are shameful, baseless and completely out of line. In his rulings, Tiger voiced his position, accepted his penalty and moved on. There was no intention to deceive anyone. Chamblee’s uninformed and malicious opinions, passed on as facts, and his desperate attempt to garner attention is deplorable.”
Chamblee told a story about his youth, quoted Sir Walter Scott and gave Tiger a bad grade in a humor-based column. It was a harmless, unfunny, inoffensive joke which makes Steinberg’s reaction that much funnier. Has he never been on the Internet before?
Now that would be crazy. Steinberg is suddenly introduced to the Internet only to find that someone has said put an uninformed opinion there to get attention. Who would place an uniformed opinion on the Internet!? That is deplorable. Possibly – nay most indubitably the most deplorable thing I have ever seen. And I’m not one for hyperbole.
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