According to the report, five birds were nailed for using a human painkiller that combats inflammation, while the other flunking feathery rebel tested positive for cocaine, obviously. Pretty amazing all by its lonesome, but the best sentence to emerge from this news reads as follows:
Top officials at an association of pigeon fanciers in the country said they were shocked at the news.
Yes, pigeon fanciers.
There’s also this:
Others in the sport said that they were not surprised that pigeons had been caught doping because pigeon racing has gained in popularity in recent years, becoming a big-money, even a glamorous, endeavor.
Glamorous, without question.
Oh, and it would be a crime not to mention this dropping:
Last May, a pigeon named Usain Bolt — for the Olympic sprinting champion from Jamaica — was sold to a Chinese businessman for about $430,000.
Pigeon racing. The latest greatest scandal until a boxing kangaroo gets busted for steroids.
It’s worth noting that the aforementioned guilty pigeons were last seen arrogantly voiding a deal with New York latex salesman, George Costanza.