Black Friday Mayhem, Starring Incredibly Stupid, Misguided Souls

This Black Friday scene from Puerto Rico basically mirrors the atmosphere of the running of the bulls, though rather than run from something, people can be seen charging Wal-Mart like a sea of deranged Bald Bulls. This is the way one tends to celebrate Thanksgiving when chasing their own shadow becomes tiresome and frankly, unfulfilling.

Save for the Wal-Mart employees and police in this footage, there isn’t one person here that doesn’t deserve to be hit over the head with Homey the Clown’s corked sock. You are all dumbfounding disgraces.

It wouldn’t be Black Friday without a spirited tasing. Congrats to all involved.

Older fella in the blue hat here attempting to clean house with testy, Shawn Bradley-like shoves, all in the name of a damn good sale. Then again, it’s possible he’s simply in search of a damn good shoving match.

I don’t care if this is staged or not, it’s the greatest “El Black Friday’ photo to surface thus far.

Amazing. Two women jousting, presumably over deeply discounted Twizzlers, while one woman’s manager whips the opponent with what appears to be a belt or a giant key chain. I’m secretly hoping it’s a key chain.

“Like or not, shopping on Thanksgiving day could one day become just as popular as the football, the parades, even the food itself.” No. And SHUT UP.

Step 1) Girl hides in lower shelf of aisle in the interest of making noises at shoppers. Step 2) Man passes by with his cart and reacts reasonably, though throwing in “I’ll kill you” was probably a bit excessive.

Good times were clearly had by all at Wal-Mart in Rialto, California: “Wal-Mart says police were called when tensions began running high when people were found cutting in line.” Hilarious.

At the 54-second mark: “Bloody hell, that was stupid.” Finally, a voice of reason emerges, but of course it’s not an American voice. This video was taken at the Asda Colindale Superstore in the UK.

I just can’t believe there’s a countdown followed by people shouting “yaaaaaaaaay.” The infinite sadness has spread far and wide.

[h/t @BustedCoverage]

*We’ll keep adding to the post as more debacles surface