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Lawrence Frank's Daily Reports Blog Is Exquisite Satire

New Jersey Nets  v. Philadelphia 76ers

 

Jason Kidd’s Brooklyn Nets are fledgling at 5-14. Earlier this week, Kidd re-assigned assistant coach Lawrence Frank, relegating him to the role of “filing daily reports on the team’s performance“. Since then an intrepid, and thus far anonymous, blogger has been writing the reports that he imagines Frank would be filling out.

Here’s what he had to say about Thursday night’s debacle against the Knicks:

Holy hell. That was one of the saddest displays of Nets basketball that I have ever seen. And this is coming from the guy who coached the team to an 0-17 start a few years ago. Seriously, you made the Knicks look like an actual respectable basketball team last night, like the Sixers or the Celtics or something. They actually played like they liked each other. I mean, Melo had 6 assists! 6! (Did you give him some pointers before the game?) […]

The Knicks shot 71% in the first quarter. 71%! You really look like you could use a defensive assistant with NBA head coaching experience. (Joke! A wise man from Queens once said, “I guess I laugh to keep from crying.”)

It is our sincere hope that this continues to be a thing for the indefinite future.

Related: Paul Pierce Calls Out Jason Kidd and the Nets Coaching Staff
Related: The Jason McIntyre Show: Jay Williams on Training Camp with Jason Kidd and Lawrence Frank. Also, College Basketball
Related: Verne Lundquist References Jason Kidd’s Water Stunt While Talking About Alabama Faking Injuries

[H/T Woj]


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