Roundup: Michael Jordan Having Twins, Phil Robertson Suspended, Anchroman 2 and American Hustle Arrive

Sylvie Van der Vaart … Pippa Middleton is engaged … R. Kelly sexual assault accusation details … man comes out of bunker for first time since Y2K … Twitter isn’t as widely used as we like to think it is ... 440 pound virgin sent girlfriend to the hospital the first time they had sex … guy who made 80 pounds of meth is a fan of Breaking Bad … man named Noel climbs Christmas tree … man brutally attacked in Venice … Boston Marathon bombing victim engaged to a nurse he met during recovery … person walks off pier while posting on Facebook … man tried to throw wife off a bridge … there’s a show about Twitter being developed … ever wait in line for hours to eat at Popeye’s … Anchorman 2 is here and the reviews aren’t horrible ….

Here is the most important list of media things that happened in 2013. [Sports Illustrated]

Vince Wilfork plans to return next season. [Boston Herald]

One of the older Duck Dynasty guys said some racist/homophobic stuff and he got suspended. From a reality television show. Don’t think about that. [

Jim Harbaugh and Niners’ GM Trent Baalke have a “competitive tension.” [San Jose Mercury News]

Someone was finally able to track down the cast of Anchorman 2 for an interview. [All Ball]

Michael Jordan is having identical twins. [TMZ]

PJ Hairston’s time at North Carolina may be over. [Yahoo!]

The anatomy of Ray Allen’s glorious corner 3 in Game 6. [Sports Illustrated]

On Jerry Tarkanian’s Hall of Fame career. [FOX Sports]

LeSean McCoy lied about the Cowboys game on the Eagles’ flight home. [Pro Football Talk]

Dan Shaughnessy actually attended a game in Miami and he wants you to know that he’s not rooting for anyone. [Boston Globe]

It’s almost Festivus. Here are some Seinfeld grievances.

Dawn of the Planet of the Apes looks awesome.

Adorable dog invades the field during field hockey final.

Jennifer Lawrence told a story about butt plugs on Conan. She was there to promote American Hustle which is near perfect on Rotten Tomatoes.