Roundup: Coachella 2014 Lineup, Best Beer Bars, Ian Darke Will Call the World Cup

genevieve-mortonGenevieve Morton … Coachella  2014 lineup announced (day 2 is the best) … Meryl Streep calls Walt Disney sexist  and anti-Semitic … lots of people are alive because we figured out smoking was bad … Florida man tasered at P.F. Chang’s … lots of bats died during a heatwave in Australia … the best beer bars of 2014 … Chris Christie has a bridge scandal (traffic to the GWB is always effed tho)

Transfers are the new freshman in the recruiting process. Kind of. [Sports Illustrated]

Ian Darke will be the lead commentator for the 2014 World Cup [ESPN]

An Interview with Blazers” center Robin Lopez. [Willamette Week]

Bar Rescue’s Jon Taffer not only invented the butt funnel, but also Sunday Ticket. [FOX Sports]

Michigan has hired Alabama’s offensive coordinator, Doug Nussmeier. [CBS Sports]

Cleveland is not the right spot for Bob Stoops. (Or anyone, really.) [The Oklahoman]

Fat guy bites bro’s ear. Bro knocks out fat guy. [Bro Bible]

Should the Penguins trade Kris Letang this summer? (Plus other hockey questions answered.) [Bleacher Report]

UFC and WWE both announced digital networks and WWE “won.” [Bloody Elbow]

Deadspin bought Dan Le Batard’s Baseball Hall of Fame vote. Wilbon and Kornheiser were not pleased. [Deadspin]

The NFL has concerns about Esquire’s “Friday Night Tykes.” [LA Times]

The Kings have made like 3 offers to the Nuggets for Andre Miller. #freejimmer [CBS]

I found this video yesterday. Cardillo was all over it in November when it was already like 20 years old.

An old Mariners commercial featuring A-Rod reading Shakespeare.

Watch these Auburn fans get their hearts broken. It sounds so much classier when you say it like that, doesn’t it?

Not enough was made of Josh Smith’s horrible airball the other night.

Remember Velvet Revolver? They don’t make rock bands like this anymore. Sorry if this video is slightly NSFW because Scott Weiland was so skinny that they didn’t make pants that small in 2004.

Because you want to see it first!

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