Melissa Giraldo … This is the dumbest way to go about removing toilet paper from a tree as possible. … Jadeveon Clowney’s agent might sue a South Carolina sub shop for a sign that makes light of his speeding arrests. … Rafael Nadal beat Roger Federer in straight sets to reach the Australian Open final. … Grand Central Station must have been a pleasant place Thursday night when Metro North lost service temorarily. … Colin Jost will be the new co-host on SNL’s Weekend Update. … Is a bigger iPhone coming out this year? … New York Police solved the 1978 Lufthansa heist immortalized in Goodfellas. … These celebrity photo equations are great. … Virgin Airways apologized for kicking Geno Smith off a flight. … The best-tasting tap water in America belongs to Emporia, Kan., per CNN. … Don’t any of you have jobs? … Is Kentucky’s problem this year a lack of dancing?… Philly woman gave birth on a plastic sled. … Australians bicker back-and-forth over a floodlight. … Johnny Manziel/Browns photoshops are funny. … Here’s a useful chart of every Royal Rumble winner, one of professional wrestling’s greatest achievements. … Mountain Dew-flavored Cheetos exist, in Japan. … Happy Birthday: Ray Stevens (75); Neil Diamond (73); Warren Zevon; John Belushi; Yakov Smirnoff (63); Mark Eaton (57); Jools Holland (56); Nastassja Kinski (53); Mary Lou Retton (46); Kristen Schaal (36); Mischa Barton (28); Luis Suarez (27); … Have a nice weekend. Live it up and such.
This is what a $4,999 Nintendo cartridge looks like. [Wired]
Derek Fisher + Ref + Ginuwine = Gold . [Diehard Sport]
Justin Bieber’s arrest meant the news channels had to talk about “sizzurp.” [Hollywood Reporter]
This is DEFINITELY the most comprehensive piece ever written on Baltimore’s short-lived CFL team. [CSN Maryland]
50 years of the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue. [Vanity Fair]
Rooftop owners aren’t going to back down from Cubs easily. [Sun-Times]
Hong Kong tycoon offering up to $120 million “bounty” for a man to marry his openly gay daughter. [HyperVocal]
Canadian Genie Bouchard turned heads at the Aussie Open. [Guyism]
Somebody is already making suggestions for next season’s True Detective cast. [New Republic]
The final confessions of a Silk Road kingpin. [Daily Dot]
Two teenagers are behind the @HistoryInPics account. [The Atlantic]
20 thoughts from the Senior Bowl. [MMQB]
An interview with the Workaholics guys. [Splitsider]
Baseball players with saxophones is my favorite Internet of the week. [Old Time Family Baseball]
An oral history of Swingers. [Grantland]
Going through the ending of the Sopranos written by someone watching it for the first time. [Blazers Edge]
Taking a look back at one of the NBA’s best team photos. [700 Level]
The global elite are staying at this “golden egg” in the Swiss Alps during the World Economic Forum this week.
Kansas City will soon be home to this insane waterslide.
… and now Ray Liotta does commercials for tequila.
This kid DGAF.
If Justin Beiber goes to jail, he should take some advice from the Trailer Park Boys.