For $13 You Can Get a Groupon for the Marlins Home Opener (Plus a Voucher for Another Game!)

Are you going to be in the South Florida region on March 31? Do you have even the slightest passing interest in Major League Baseball? Does the thought of watching reigning National League Rookie of the Year Jose Fernandez pitch do anything for you? Maybe you’d like to spend three hours of your free time staring at garish sculpture in the outfield paid for by taxpayer money? Do you like either beer, nachos or hot dogs?

If you answered yes to any of those questions, then Groupon has the deal for you. For the low price of $13 you can attend the 2014 Marlins home opener against the Braves AND receive a voucher to another game, albeit another game at Marlins Park which opened way back in 2012. Snark aside, that’s a heck of a deal unearthed by the folks at r/baseball.

Instead of turning this into another “LOL Marlins” type post I thought it would be interesting to look at prices for Opening Day tickets for all 30 Major League teams as of Thursday morning on Stub Hub. The average price for the lowest available ticket comes out to around $56. It illustrates what a great deal the Marlins are offering — again it does come with the small catch that you’re helping line the loathsome Jeffrey Loria’s pockets.

On Stub Hub the cheapest Marlins ticket for Opening Day is $23. It’s actually not that bad in comparison to the rest of the National League East: Nationals ($48); Braves ($28); Phillies ($35) and Mets ($65?!?). Florida’s other team, the Rays, also notrious for attendance problems check in with a lowest ticket available at $36. For $33 you can watch the Astros, again penciled to be the worst team in baseball, say good bye to Derek Jeter when the Yankees come to town on April 1.

As of Thursday morning three teams listed their least-expensive Opening Day ticket on Stub Hub for over $100: the defending World Series champion Red Sox ($156); the Orioles, who are playing the Red Sox at Camden ($138) and the Tigers ($110).

The two cheapest Opening Day tickets on the site were the Diamondbacks at $15.20 and the Twins at $15.90. The low figure for Minnesota makes some sense because who wants to sit in the upper deck at Target Field in the chilly early April Minneapolis weather to peer down and watch Joe Mauer play first base? The Arizona figure is a little puzzling since Kirk Gibson’s club should be a Wild Card contender. (I guess Mark Trumbo doesn’t put fannies in the seats.)

In 2013 the Marlins averaged 19,584 fans per game — playing at 52.3 percent capacity — good for 29th in baseball. All the Groupons in the world still might not help bump up that total this year. People love deals to save money, but it looks like they love to hate Loria even more.