Sabine Jemeljanova … I try to keep these roundups lighthearted, but seriously, WTF is wrong with people? … Same sentiment on this one. … An actual Hank Scorpio mystery in Ireland! … Add Josh Beckett to the dumb Spring Training injury list. … At this point nobody knows what’s going on with that missing Malaysian jet. … Texting in movie theater leads to second degree murder charges. (Again, what is wrong with people?). … Justin Tuck, LaMarr Woodley are now Raiders. … Real headline: “Man who woke up in body bag dies.”… Huge traffic pile-up in snowy Ohio results in three deaths. … Houston man shoots 17-year-old found in daughter’s bedroom. … Mike Judge and Martin Starr enjoyed themselves playing Titanfall. … Louie is coming back to FX on May 5. … Told you this was how True Detective would end a couple weeks ago. (Sorry for the spoiler.) … Look, the “Five Second Rule” might actually be real. Yeah science! … Note to self: go to Miami for Spring Break next year. … Your Funny/Cruel Tumblr of the week: Animals Sucking at Jumping. … Some new Star Wars movie casting news. … “Stabbing spree” leaves six dead in China. … The president of Bayern Munich is going to jail for tax evasion. … Whoa Bundy! … Little Women vs. the Brothers Karamazov: a March Madness bracket for the literary set. … Cool chart of the periodic table by abundance of each element. … More charts: why does genius peak in your 30s?… Happy Birthday: Quincy Jones (81); Wes Unseld (68); Billy Crystal (66); Rick Dees (64); Larry Johnson (45); Grace Park (40); Sasha Grey (26). … Enjoy the weekend and have fun! Dance like nobody is watching, remember you’re a star!
Colin Powell was taking #selfies before they hit critical mass. [Hyper Vocal]
Oh right, here’s that plane crash selfie people were mad about (but still manually RTed on Twitter) Thursday night. [The Wire]
Target really screwed the pooch with its data breach. [Businessweek]
It’s safe to say this guy is a WWE fan. [The Buzzer]
Airlines and hotels really like to gouge travelers. Who knew? [WSJ]
Jay Mariotti, yes him, mourns Rick Reilly and bemoans the ‘death of sportswriting’ … then writes the troll-iest column possible. [Sports Talk Florida]
“Nancy Grace’s Insane, Murder-Fueled Twitter Brilliance.” [Vice]
A wild Brad Pitt casting rumor for True Detective season 2. [Hollywood Life]
Manny Ramirez, 42, admits PED mistakes wants to get back in the game. [Fox Sports]
Fascinating read on Liverpool captain Steven Gerrard. [The Guardian]
The DIY weapons used in Ukraine are brutal-looking. [Wired]
Inside look how Rick Barnes turned around Texas hoops. [SI]
Details emerge on the RBI Baseball reboot. (I like that they’re keeping it simple.) [Polygon]
Bad news, gang: Lena Dunham says her acting days might be over. [Splitsider]
There’s a gang of “punks” called Neverlanders who like to hang out at Disneyland, apparently. [Vice]
Why is Garth Brooks so popular in Ireland? [Irish Mirror]
Cool read on a guy with no acting experience making a decision to try to make it in Hollywood. [Jeans & Ties]
The question everyone has been asking: what’s new on Ben Revere’s Twitter feed. [700 Level]
Real-life GTA car chase in Denver. HV provides details/context.
Hal Douglas — you’ve heard his voice, but might not know his name — passed away at age 89.
True Detective + King of the Hill!
A hockey fight — with a twist.
Larry Johnson’s birthday warrants its own highlight reel. (Sorry but all the Knicks-era clips on YouTube are poor quality)
Supertramp … this video was surprisingly difficult to find, so enjoy!
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