Roundup: 76ers Tie NBA Record for Futility; Deaf Woman Hears for the First Time; Ukraine's Killer Dolphins

libbypowell3Libby Powell … 76ers lost for 26th straight time, tying an NBA record. … Miguel Cabrera is close to signing a very big contract extension with the Tigers. … Your tax dollars at work: perfectly executed police sting nabs a library pervert. … Naked man rides tricycle, chews glass, gets arrested. … “Ukraine’s Killer Dolphins will Never Surrender.” … Good news, for a cool $3,000 you can hire a “social media concierge” to tweet your wedding. (Feel free to @ me.) … I really don’t think this Norwegian kid’s “dumb tattoo of a McDonald’s receipt” is that dumb. He’s Internet famous, at least. … Monopoly is crowd-sourcing for a new rule, lets hope it leads to Round 2 of Tony Soprano vs. Bobby Bacala. … All you could possibly want to know about Taco Bell’s breakfast menu. … This woman doesn’t seem to like Gywneth. … The movie rights to RA Dickey’s memoir were optioned. … Tumblr of the week: White Guys Wearing Oculus Rifts. … Shabazz Muhammad’s father is going to jail for mortgage fraud. … This Tom Crean meme is G-R-E-A-T. … If you’re a connoisseur of headline puns, for love of everything holy click this link. … Skidmore College offers up a Miley Cyrus summer course. … Two dumb decisions at once: driving while intoxicated AND attempting to pee on a police officer. … Purple spats tho. … Happy Birthday: Jerry Sloan (72); Rick Barry (70); Reba McEntire (59); Vince Vaughn (44); Nick Frost (42); Shanna Moakler (39); Luke Walton (34); Julia Stiles (33); Lady Gaga (28). … Have a killer weekend.

Karma’s a bitch, even in Florida. [Hyper Vocal]

People got mad about a tweet from the Colbert Report account. [The Wire]

Robert Kraft might do a great job with the Pats, but he’s the worst owner in MLS. [Boston]

A random list of the “14 Best musical guests” on The Simpsons. [ToneDeaf]

Bryce Harper is going hard with the healthy diet and fitness stuff, brah. [Washington Post]

This is a nice sentiment, but alas, sports fans aren’t this rationale. [Extra Mustard]

A rap fan’s guide to metal. [Complex]

“Confessions of a Pissed off Reporter: Michael Sam” [Zavala at the Zoo]

Billboard will add a chart to track music on Twitter. Yes! [NYT]

Remember Joe Alexander? He’s back in the D-League after missing nearly two years with a back injury. [Santa Cruz Sentinel]

Here’s a very thorough (read: three-page) examination of Quentin Tarantino’s acting career. [UPROXX]

“E-Cigarette juice poisoned another kid.” [Vice]

The state of Maine has never placed a team for the NCAA basketball tournament. [Newsweek]

But one of many columns expressing opinions on NCAA players potentially forming a union. [Spokane Review]

The current team may be terrible, but the 76ers have had some amazing posters throughout their history. [700 Level]

39-year-old woman who was born deaf hears for the first time.

Trailer for the new TMNT movie. The target audience for this movie is …?

Bane cat.

Yay baseball is back!

Felt like this was well-executed. (Requisite strong language warning.)

Meanwhile this felt very lazy, at least coming from me … a person who collects records and who is probably a douche IRL.

However, I bought this record for $1 at Savers. It rocks.

Because you want to see it first!

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