Sarah Stage … If you haven’t seen or read by now, David Letterman announced his retirement on Thursday. … Four people arrested in Philly for tattooing a man against his will (amazing and disturbing all at once! Those mugshots…). … Huge, man-eating crocodile finally caught in Uganda. … This picture is (old but) amazing. … Hackers are at it again, this time with ATMs. Fun! … Man accidentally hits 11-year-old, is beaten by group of people. … Leopard attacks are a major election issue in India. … Good news: Texas couple claims they’ve caught a chupacabra. … The potential “ring of fire” in the Pacific is fairly scary to think about. … Man finds body of suicide victim outside building and … well … good grief. … Web Twitter now supports emojis!!! (If you don’t know what that is, I envy you.) … This might be one of the best websites ever made (warning auto-play music h/t my friend Evan). … This bus driver is a bit of jerk. … Here’s a bunch of British women, including Wayne Rooney’s wife Colleen, with fake tans and wearing dopey hats attending a famous horse race. … Happy Birthday: Maya Angelou (86); Jack Del Rio (51); Dale Hawerchuk (51); Robert Downey Jr. (49); Barry Pepper (44); Scott Rolen (39); Natasha Lyonne (35); Ben Gordon (31); Jamie Lynn Spears (23); Grumpy Cat (2). … Have an eventful weekend, or a relaxing one.
The U.S. built a “Cuban Twitter” to stir unrest. [AP]
Contestant catches Alex Trebek waaaaay off guard during the usually mundane Jeopardy! interview segment. [Hyper Vocal]
How Disney movies helped one author communicate with his autistic son. [NYT]
Chad Curtis: Grade A Scumbag. [Sports On Earth]
If you’re interested, here’s Jason Whitlock writing about DeSean Jackson. [ESPN]
A really good lo0k back at the Michigan/Seton Hall NCAA championship game. [SI]
Solid profile of Kevin Ollie, NBA journeyman turned Final Four coach. [WSJ]
A useful Buzzfeed list: why your iPhone battery keeps running out. [Buzzfeed]
RIP Marcus Henry. (Sad story and a reminder that not every sportswriter is a ‘hot-take’ manufacturing blowhard.) [Newsday]
Just what everyone needs, to memorialize their best tweets on a block of wood. [Yahoo! Tech]
Game of Thrones Actors look completely different in real life. (Hodor, face tat?!?) [Hollywood Gossip]
“The Greatest Novelty Blunts on Instagram.” [Noisey]
The best thing you’ll read today about Don Baylor and crippling sports injuries. [700 Level]
“She’s gone already chief.”
The Trailer Park Boys will be back, soon.
Anna Kendrick will host SNL this weekend. Aca-citing? (On the subject of SNL, this clip never gets old or less timely.)
Live it up while you can, college kids. The crippling reality of the real world rears its ugly head soon enough.
Here’s competitive eating legend Kobayashi pranking the New York Cosmos at a Buffalo Wild Wings.
The Men wrote the best Bruce Springsteen & the E Street Band song of 2014. (That’s a compliment … I think, whatever that sax riff is indomitable.)