Game of Thrones: "Mockingbird" Recap

Tyrion – Just another amazing episode for Peter Dinklage. This time playing realistic (for a show with dragons) scenes with a brother, friend and presumed enemy. Don’t do it. Don’t you dare do it, writers. *sigh*

If only Game of Thrones would end like this….

Jaime – I love how he always draws the line at mentioning him banging his sister. So strange that this is the one thing in Westeros that is a no-no. And shouldn’t he have learned to use both hands as a youngster? I bet Arya is a skilled swordsman with both hands. At least he doesn’t have to get married now.

The Mountain – For those of you keeping score at home, this is the third actor to play The Mountain. May I introduce you to Hafþór Júlíus Björnsson, a 6’9″ Icelandic strongman competitor? According to Wikipedia, he got into strongman contests after a knee injury ended his basketball career. Here’s a picture of him with Lena Headey on set laughing. (That prop sword is as tall as she is!) Oh, the mixed emotions. As awesome and badass as he seems, I really hope he dies in two weeks.

Arya and The Hound – The Hound without his armor is so vulnerable. Maybe because he’s not wearing anything under his kilt. Never tell Arya Stark your name – even if The Hound asks.

Jon Snow – Maybe somebody should listen to him? Nah. I’m sure it will all work out for everyone.

Tyrion and Bronn – This might be Tyrion’s saddest goodbye yet. (Non-Shae division.) Oh, Bronn. Remember when these two first got together? This is true to Bronn’s character and as Jaime said, Tyrion is a realist.

Dany – I’ll give Daario/Sonny this much – he helped Khaleesi get her groove back. Anything to get her out of those jeggings and back into dresses. A necessary evil. Objectifying an underling? Dany is starting to act like a real King. Though I have to wonder how the dragons would react to seeing their mom having sex. That’s probably how the entire thing ends, right? The dragons see their mother having sex and burn everything to the ground then spend the next season on an In Treatment crossover.

Melisandre and Mrs. Stannis – Wait, is this the weirdest love-triangle in the Seven Kingdoms? Every episode there’s a new contender.

Jorah – You know that scene in “Rock of Ages” where . . . have I said way too much? Moving on. Poor Jorah. As if the perpetual friend zone couldn’t get any more intense. We have a deep emotional connection and trust! It’s like the beginning of “Old School” when Mitch’s wife assures him it’s “purely sexual.”

Hot Pie – You cannot give up on the gravy. Words to live by.

Brienn and Pod – I think we have found the duo to play private detectives Dog & Bucket.

Prince Oberyn – What a scene. From the moment The Mountain showed up, I knew Prince Oberyn was going to be our champion. Our HERO. Didn’t matter. From the minute his story about meeting baby Tyrion started I knew how it was ending. Didn’t matter. I’m not going to pretend that I had the same reaction as Tyrion when he finally said, “I will be your champion.”

/runs away crying

Sansa – At least she has one of the top three child-slappings in GoT history.

Ned Stark and Catelyn Stark – RIP. Were these the only two people in the entire world who raised their children the right way!?

Littlefinger – Lord Baelish is King of Magic Mountain now. I guess.

Lysa – Good riddance. Didn’t hate to see you go, but loved watching you fly away.

Memorial Day Weekend – I hope no one dies on the one week they don’t show an episode.

I’ll be on the Sporting News podcast with Bill Voth and Matt Lutovsky again this morning to talk about this week’s episode of Game of Thrones. We’ll also talk about other random stuff while I try to keep the conversation on track. You can listen to that here.