Roundup: The Dumbest Article Written About the World Cup; Nukes Almost Detonated Over North Carolina; Happy Friday the 13th

pollyparsons4Polly Parsons, girlfriend of Belgium/Arsenal defender Thomas Vermaelen. … No charges for Colin Kaepernick for that strange incident in the Florida hotel room. … Actress and civil rights activist Ruby Dee passed away at age 91.  … Max Scherzer pitched a complete game  vs. the White Sox, ending a record run of 179 starts without one to start a career. … Martin Kaymer shot an opening-round 65 at the U.S. Open. … Florida woman + lobster tails + Publix = ??? … True Detective’s creator only wants to do three seasons. … Care to buy a $12,500 hockey mask? … 12 pages of actual math from Stanford behind Silicon Valley’s epic dick joke. … A couple fun charts about Florida. … Man (from Florida) tries to pay for sex with a salad. … Sydney Leroux appears ready for the World Cup. … Meanwhile Andrea Calle appears to support Colombia (or Club America).  … Happy Birthday: Malcolm McDowell (71); Jacques Rougeau (54);  Rivers Cuomo (44); Steve Novak (31); Kat Dennings (28); Mary-Kate Olsen (28); Ashley Olsen (28); … Have a nice weekend, try to get loose.

The World Cup of Everything Else. [WSJ]

Cool graphic/packaging: Brazilians react to their nation’s first goal of the 2014 World Cup. [NYT]

Here’s the dumbest thing written about the World Cup/soccer, even if it’s “trolling.” Well done Time Magazine. Well done. [Time]

Here’s a crazy one: two nuclear bombs came close to detonating over North Carolina in 1961. [CNN]

A look at Tim & Eric’s Abso-lutely Productions. [Variety]

Long read on Nathan Fielder, one of the talented members of the Abso-lutely stable. [NYT]

The less-than-glamorous lives of NHL “Ice Girls.” [Mother Jones]

90s Nostaglia: the Top 40 from the summer of 1994 was, awesome. [Vulture]

Classic, Florida. [Bro Bible]

Some Game of Thrones memes to get you ready for the finale on Sunday. [Guyism]

Summer television guide. [Grantland]

“Eight touching pics of celebrities and their dads.” [Clickhole]

Diplo produced an hour-long World Cup mixtape. [Pitchfork]

An interview with the comedy world’s David Wain. [Splitsider]

A review of 22 Jump Street [AV Club]

VR Gaming? Project Morpheus vs. Oculus Rift. [Rolling Stone]

Here’s a counterweight to all the WAG posts on the Internet, the “Gay Man’s Guide to 2014 World Cup [HyperVocal]

What everyone’s been waiting to read about today: retro Phillies gear. [700 Level]

John Oliver talking about the World Cup with Seth Meyers. Compares FIFA to Walter White.

25 Serial Killers That Have Never Been Caught [H/T Bro Bible]

Here’s five minutes of parkour fails. (Confession: It’s three months old. If it ran in a previous Roundup, find it in your heart to let it slide.)

Russian car crash compilation. (Uploaded: June 12, 2014.)

The 20 Best Goals in World Cup History. (High quality and very well done.)

This clip always makes me laugh, at least.

Steely Dan

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