Brittany Oldehoff … Musical based on the life of Stephon Marbury opening this fall. (He plays himself in the production.) … The NFL is changing its punishment policies for domestic violence. … Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie got married! … Volcano eruption in Papau New Guinea. … LeBron James is scaling back on his Hollywood committments following his return to Cleveland. … Yusmeiro Petit set an impressive MLB record on Thursday. … Wale leaves RocNation. … Belgian photographer in critical condition after Ice Bucket Challenge gone wrong. … The American city with the worst drivers is … ? … Today in incest news. … Dutch model busted for stealing fish oil by Whole Foods’ “store detective.” … Teenagers, man. … NOPE. … Interesting thought: what happens to your online accounts after you die? … The world’s most expensive apartment is located in Monaco. … Ponzi scheme operator gets 15 years in prison. … Tony Stewart is returning to racing this weekend. … Fox might make a show about Rivers Cuomo’s life. … What does each U.S. state like to buy on eBay? … Here’s a map showing everything connected to the Internet. … Happy birthday: Bob Beamon (68); Rebecca De Mornay (55); Carl Banks (52); Will Perdue (49); Pablo Mastroeni (38); Roy Oswalt (37); Chris Simms (34); David West (34); Lea Michele (28) … Football is back. It’s Labor Day weekend, so enjoy it.
If you want to read about the SEC Network, this is your link. [NYT]
Thankfully it’s a long weekend, so carve out some time to read this profile of Jerry Jones. [ESPN Mag]
High-larious: NFL logos as potheads. (sorry for the terrible pun, but these are great.) [KSK]
Tragedy leads to Florida family trying to design safer football pads. [Fox Sports]
Buffalo. Crunch. Donut. [Grubstreet]
Phil Hartman: The Glue. [Grantland]
“But when you nitpick one thing out, and that thing happens to make life difficult for millions of other people, you’re no better than the cocky asshole you’ve judged.” [Philly Blunt]
Ginger discount card? [BroBible]
A look at college football student attendance trends over the last three years. [WSJ]
Collecting Story of the Week No. 1: Guy buying up 1964 Curt Flood cards. [ESPN Mag]
Collecting Story of the Week No. 2: Brazilian man buying up all the word’s vinyl records. [NYT]
If you’re gorging on The Simpsons, you should take a second to learn the name John Swartzwelder. [Uproxx]
If you want to catch a foul ball at a baseball game, read this. [Time]
Reporting: the Denver Post goes deep, tries to tell the story of kids trying to go to school despite being deemed homeless under federal law with a series starting today. [Denver Post]
The favorite link of the day (obviously): “Every reference to the HBO series ‘Girls’ in New York Times stories about Brooklyn” [Brokelyn]
“If BuzzFeed is a tech company, sure, I suppose GE can be a media company” [Nieman Journalism Lab]
A link about America’s favorite flavor: Pumpkin Spice! [Factually]
Any interest in reading about back-to-school Trapper Keepers? [700 Level]
“This is exasperating.”
MLB Network’s Greg Amsinger predicts a Buster Posey walk-off, promptly loses it.
David Lynch did an Ice Bucket Challenge. Make sure to watch to the end to see who he challenged.