Pigskin Pigsplosion Week 9 NFL Preview: Tom Brady and Peyton Manning Are Reunited and It Feels So Good

Welcome back to the Pigskin Pigsplosion, where we talk about stuff, sometimes football, and make winning picks (sometimes).

Last Week

Ryan: 7-8
Stephen: 9-6
Jason: 7-8

Season

Ryan: 63-57-1
Stephen: 63-57-1
Jason: 59-61-1

New Orleans (-3) @ Carolina

Ryan: It’ll be interesting to see if last week’s Saints resurgence was a blip on the radar/product of their absurd home field advantage, or if they’ve woken up. You can never tell how stuff like that works on a week-to-week basis in the (Mark Schlereth voice) National Football League. This just doesn’t seem like Carolina’s year. They had every opportunity to steal that game against Seattle last week, but couldn’t pull it together. BUT, this seems like an obvious line in favor of New Orleans, and I can’t help but wonder if that’s just what Vegas WANTS us to think. Panthers.

Stephen: Have you considered the possibility that neither of these teams are very good? Or they are both very good. Or just one of them is very good? Well, Ryan? Have you considered any of that? PANTHERS

Jason: I’m going with the hot hand and playing on the only NFC South team to win a game in the last 24 days. Saints.

San Diego @ Miami (-1.5)

Stephen: While this is a west coast team traveling to the east coast for an early game, it is also a beach town traveling to a beach town which should help the CHARGERS

Jason: seems like a good excuse to link this old play. Can someone please run the ol’ hook and ladder? (well, someone besides the Jets). Dolphins

Jacksonville @ Cincinnati (-11)

Ryan: It seems like AJ Green is going to be back this week, and he makes a GIGANTIC difference in the flow of the Bengals offense. Still, 11 points seems a little bit too high. Last week notwithstanding, the Jaguars have been friskier recently.

Stephen: From @drewggy: [picture redacted] BENGALS

Jason: Eventually, Blake Bortles will stop throwing touchdowns to the other team, and then the Jaguars will cover some big lines. Will it be this week? Stay tuned. Jaguars.

Tampa Bay @ Cleveland (-6.5)

Stephen: From Spence:

(Can you imagine what the Bengals-related picture was?) Yeah? Well the Bucs are shitty-er! BROWNS

Jason: This will be the third straight game where Cleveland will be favored by at least 5.5. I mean, I know LeBron is a big story, but the Browns being favored heavily in three straight is pretty unusual. Then again, they’ve played the Jaguars, Raiders, and now Bucs. The Playoff Committee may not look too kindly on that scheduling. Browns.

Ryan: Unscientifically, we seem to do better when we all pick the same team. Browns.

Washington @ Minnesota (-1)

Jason: With Colt McCoy and Kirk Cousins playing at quarterback most of the year, Washington is 2nd in net yards per attempt in the entire league. I mean, just think about that. If Griffin doesn’t come back and play well, all bets are off for next year. I think he plays well /snaps hand writing this. Washington

Stephen: “The Colt in the Quarterback Controversy” is my favorite Matt Christopher book. WASHINGTON

Ryan: Minnesota’s quiet friskiness continues.

Philadelphia (-2) @ Houston

Ryan: I skipped the 4pm games last week to walk around New Orleans, and it’s crazy how much you feel out of the NFL loop when stuff like that happens. Twitter (at least Jason M’s timeline, anyway) made it sound like Arizona stole the game from Philly? I guess I could go back and watch on NFL Rewind and spend 25 minutes figuring it out for myself, but who has that kind of time? Eagles.

Jason: shhh, Ryan, we aren’t supposed to let them know we don’t watch every minute of every game. But yeah, it is amazing when real life comes up just how out of touch you feel for those hours. Texans.

Stephen: From Happy: “Arian Foster has averaged just under 37 fantasy points per game the last 3 weeks in standard scoring leagues. I asked a fantasy football expert for his opinion and he said, “yeah, that’s pretty good.” Thanks fantasy football expert. “You’re welcome. That’ll be $50.” Damn fantasy football advice is expensive. TEXANS

Arizona @ Dallas (-3.5)

Ryan: I also missed Dallas-Washington on Monday night because I was traveling back home during it. That game was about 95% to watch on constant Twitter refresh as I think it would’ve been to see live. It was basically a frenetic play-by-play. There are some times where Sports Twitter just rises to the occasion, and makes it worth putting up with all the other annoying bullshit, and this was one of them. Arizona. 

Stephen: From Hef: “Guaranteed victory if Tony [redacted] starts. Cards have one of the best rush defenses in the league and if [redacted] has to throw 35 times then it’s an easy win for the red birds.”

Counterpoint from Clown: “The injury-hampered Cowboys will attempt to shock the world and defeat the Glendale Cardinals. Romo’s availability is still up in the air, but the biggest factor is whether Jason Garrett decides to get in his own way and become pass happy despite the running game going on all cylinders.”

Some p good points imho. Me? I’m riding with DeMarco Murray. COWBOYS

Jason: The Cardinals have a very good run defense, and the Cowboys better be ready for more of those blitzes that Washington threw at them. Cardinals.

NY Jets @ Kansas City (-9.5)

Jason: Honestly, I’m still coming down from that World Series. It might feel different if the Chiefs were playing a NFL team this week. Jets? in a backdoor cover because sports.

Stephen: The Jets need to sign some new strongackups strongecause they are running out of starters to strongench. CHIEFS

Ryan: The Chiefs have seemed like they’re about to go on a nice little run the past couple weeks.

St. Louis @ San Francisco (-10)

Stephen: From Happy: “There will come a point late in the 4th quarter of this 49ers blowout where one of the coaches will ask permission to bring their [redacted] into the game at running back to score a meaningless late-game touchdown and there won’t be a dry eye in the house when he finally does it. Go [redacted].” This was a horrible idea. NINERS

Jason: There is a chance that you have lots of players on a bye week because there are 6 teams off. I still hope you don’t have to have a Rams player. 49ers.

Ryan: Many of these matchups are pretty “meh” on paper this week, which often leads to a bananas witching hour on the Red Zone Channel. Rams. 

Denver (-3) @ New England

Stephen: My fantasy football matchup will be won and / or lost in this game. This should be important to everyone! BRONCOS

Jason: Wait, Peyton Manning and Tom Brady are appearing in the same game this week? I’m sure nothing controversial will come out of this. 4th and 2? Can Manning ever complete a pass in cold weather? Go ahead and put your guess for this year’s hot topic in the comments (unless you already contributed with comments to Stephen, in which case, sit this one out). Patriots.

Ryan: This game is what a matchup between the unstoppable regular season force and the immovable regular season object. I’ll go with the Peyton Manning’s over the Tom Brady’s.

Oakland @ Seattle (-15)

Stephen: From Happy: “If the Raiders were a boxer, they’d have stopped the fight by now. And if they were a race horse, they’d have [redacted] and begun selling [redacted]. RIP [redacted]” Such a bad idea. RAIDERS

Jason: Okay, and I know I am going to be completely ridiculous here, but I kind of like this Derek Carr and think this team will be a good value play. They are the last team left not to win, and those teams tend to a) get huge lines for good reason, and b) start covering those lines (a lot of times jumping early before blowing it) before letting down once that win finally comes. Raiders.

Ryan: Really unfortunate that Russell Wilson and the Seahawks get a cupcake this week. It’d’ve been way better if they blew another home game this week and the TURMOIL in their locker room re-emerged.

Baltimore @ Pittsburgh (PK)

Stephen: Ben Roethlisberger will not repeat last week’s performance. That is my Lock of the Week. RAVENS

Jason: After looking through all sorts of numbers that say this is even accounting for home field, and looking at how inconsistent these teams have been, I just took out a quarter and flipped it. It was tails, which is a bird, so Ravens.

Ryan: That seems like a viable strategy, and I’ll outsource my pick to your coin. Ravens. 

Indianapolis (-3) @ NY Giants

Stephen: I decided to outsource some of my previews this week. This is Roman W. Helmet: “The New York Football Giants take on a Colts team owned by a [redacted], quarterbacked by [redacted] and coached by the NFL’s version of [redacted]. The Manning family’s [redacted] against the Colts will result in a victory for the GIANTS.” This was a mistake. COLTS

Jason: The Colts are the better team, more consistently. Giants have had a week off to get ready. Did I already use my coin flip? I’ll go with the Ahmad Bradshaw factor as a completely non-sensical method here. Colts.

Ryan: Seems like we’re due for another primetime stronglowout. Colts.