Action Bronson Acts Like Wiener Circle is Amazing on Trip to Chicago

Action Bronson hit up Chicago for the sixth episode of Vice’s Fuck, That’s Delicious and I have some very important thoughts about what he ate. He started off with a trip to Hot Doug’s. His four-hour wait three weeks before the sausage mecca closed up shop paled in comparison to the 13 hours of hard time that I put in on the restaurant’s final day; the rapper ordered one of everything and took it to-go. He ended up somewhere downtown, which is at least a 20-minute drive from Hot Doug’s, but somehow the duck fat fries remained crispy. Seems like a stretch.

Anyways, from there Bronson headed to Mike Ditka’s Steakhouse for a meal with Da Coach, which, as Deadspin pointed out, went quite awkwardly. Ditka didn’t quite get what was going on, probably hadn’t heard of Bronson or Vice until 10 minutes before filming, and didn’t really differentiate it from the other dozen or so marketing appearances foisted upon him each day.

Bronson’s final Windy City stop was at Wiener Circle, a joint that is known for its sassy African-American clerks rather than the quality of its food. Separating out the shtick, it’s like the SubWay of hot dog stands. The establishment is worth it to go to at 1 am when they’ll make fun of you for being a sloppy drunk, but it’s not especially delicious. “Extra pussy juice on it — just for you,” one of the workers tells Bronson. He takes a bite of the hot dog, and acts like it was amazing when … well, it’s not.

Here’s a list of Chicago spots that are less trodden (even Triumph the Insult Comic Dog has already taken his shots) — and better! — than Wiener Circle:

Budacki’s (Hot Dog Stand)
Superdawg (Hot Dog Stand)
Brianna’s (Guatemalan/Salvadorian)
Lau Sze Chuan (Chinese)
Sun Wah (Chinese – Peking Duck)
Sticky Rice (Thai)
Au Cheval (Upscale Diner)
Lula Cafe (Brunch)
Hot Chocolate (Gastropub)
ORD Pizzeria (Mid-crust pizza)
First Slice (Pie)
Hon Kee (Chinese BBQ)
Pastoral (Cheese, Charcuterie, and Specialty Sandwiches)
Cemitas Puebla (Mexican)
Kuma’s Corner (Well-Known, but Incredible Burgers)

/End rant.