Jim Harbaugh is the Next Coach of Your Favorite Team!

Jim Harbaugh is going to coach your favorite team. Congratulations! [Your General Manager and/or Athletic Director] did it. It has been a rough couple seasons, but Jim Harbaugh is coming to turn it all around! Your favorite team will spend the next decade-plus as a perennial [National Championship / Super Bowl] contender. I know. It’s awesome. Harbaugh has picked your [team / school] and he’s not going anywhere. Ever. You’re going to love it. Especially the way your favorite [team color(s)] shirt goes with your khakis.

Harbaugh is a proven winner and that should immediately transform [team name / school name] culture. You know how many other coaches have won both an NFC Championship and an Orange Bowl? Like… none, I bet. Probably not many. I assume it is super rare. Dynasty Mode: Unlocked!

Now that Coach Harbaugh has signed a long term deal with your favorite [team / school], it is time to get to work. First order of business is improving the offense and defense and special teams. That, of course, will start with the search for the next [franchise / Heisman candidate] quarterback. Rest assured he’s already pounding the pavement looking to [sign / draft / recruit] that big name [free agent / 5-star recruit] that previously expressed interest in, or drew interest from, your [division / in-state] rival.

It is officially a new era. Those losers across [that geographical boundary of some sort] are going to be sorry.

So again, congratulations to all the fans of the New York Jets, New York Giants, Cleveland Browns, Oakland Raiders, Miami Dolphins, Chicago Bears, Michigan Wolverines, Kansas Jayhawks, San Francisco 49ers and the next team to think about hiring a new coach. You’re all going to land him and then it is only a matter of time until you forget what losing felt like. What a time to be a fan of your team!