Cristiano Ronaldo to MLS: Let's Guess the Odds He and Other Stars Come to America

On Tuesday Sports Illustrated‘s Grant Wahl reported that Cristiano Ronaldo is considering a move to MLS when his current deal with Real Madrid ends in 2018. Obviously a lot can change in three years, especially in the wild world of soccer transfers. This potential move would continue to promote the idea that aging European stars want to come to America at the end of their playing careers to play some soccer, cash a couple checks, enjoy cable television and fast food breakfast sandwiches … which are presumably harder to come by on the other side of the Atlantic.

If Ronaldo — the best or second-best player in the world at the moment — can hint at coming to MLS, it means pretty much everyone is on the table to become a Designated Player. That said, we’re still years (if not decades) away from a player like Ronaldo coming to America to play soccer at the height of his career which would behoove the league much more. Instead for the time being MLS, if it wants the truly marquee names, will have to settle for guys in their 30s such as Kaka, Steven Gerrard and Frank Lampard — although the ‘European retirement home’ theory is atypical to how most clubs use their DP allotments.

Something to also consider for the purposes of this blind speculation is there will be a second team in Los Angeles come 2017. Eventually Miami might get an MLS team, too. So add those two teams to the Los Angeles Galaxy and two New York-area clubs and that’s up to 15 designated player spots in the three cities generally cited as the most attractive destinations for foreign star players.

With all this in mind, let’s take a look at a few well-known players, nearing the end of their careers who’d fit the bill toward coming to MLS before hanging up their cleats.

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Cristiano Ronaldo

Current Team: Real Madrid
Age: 30
Odds to MLS: 15-to-1
Prediction: Ronaldo and Hollywood are meant for each other. Let’s guess Ronaldo already has someone from his entourage making Lakers 2018 courtside season ticket deposits, perhaps the same guy whose job includes fixing the hair of the Portuguese figure at the Madrid wax museum. More practically, what better way for the new Los Angeles team (LAFC) to make a splash and announce its arrival on the soccer landscape than signing Ronaldo? Ronaldo’s arrival could also help the Miami expansion (and stadium plan) become a reality.

Xavi

Current Team: Barcelona
Age: 35
Odds to MLS: 5-to-1
Prediction: Xavi to NYCFC has been reported as a done deal dozens of times over the past year. The Spanish international’s contract at Barca runs through 2016 but since there’s a transfer ban at the Camp Nou for signing new players, his transfer to the States might be on hold. Xavi replacing Lampard as a Designated Player at NYCFC seems reasonable since the Englishman is already 37 and likely will retire sooner rather than later after he arrives at Yankee Stadium this summer.

Wayne Rooney

Current Team: Manchester United
Age: 29
Odds to MLS: 55-to-1
Prediction: Rooney is well-known enough by casual fans — if only for all his Nike endorsements around World Cup time — that he could move the needle a little bit on TV. That said, he’s locked in as United’s club ambassador making a move to the States unlikely, unless he ends up embroiled in more dumb tabloid scandals and wants to get away from it all. Should MLS ever expand to Las Vegas, Rooney’s odds of coming to America would increase exponentially.

Lionel Messi

Current Team: Barcelona
Age: 27
Odds to MLS: 50-to-1
Prediction: At some point in the not-too-distant future, a rich MLS owner with Robin Leach-narrated dreams will meet with Messi, offering giant bags marked with $$$ on them to come to America. Messi is still young enough that if he ever decides to move to another club, it’ll be a European, cash-rich club like Manchester City, Chelsea or even Bayern Munich before he sets sail to America. Messi, whom I’ve included here since he’s forever intertwined with Ronaldo, would attract a Beckham-like circus at the gate and possibly on television.

David Luiz

Current Team: PSG
Age: 27
Odds to MLS: 25-to-1
Prediction: Thanks to high-profile stints with Chelsea, PSG and Brazil, $60 million dollar defender stands out from the crowd. (Did you ever notice Luiz’s hair resembles that of Sideshow Bob from The Simpsons?) Although unlikely, a Luiz move to MLS would finally mount a challenge to Carlos Valderrama for best hair in league history, while concurrently allowing the Brazilian to fulfill his destiny as a full-time center forward.

Zlatan Ibrahimovic

Current Team: PSG
Age: 33
Odds to MLS: 35-to-1
Prediction: Over the weekend cameras caught the infamous Swede ranting that France is a “shit country,” so his days in the French capital are likely coming to an end — perhaps with a Champions League trophy first. On brand value alone, Ibrahimovic fits the mold of an MLS Designated Player. Coming to America and training alongside guys making $60K might end up being below the Zlatan’s high standards, however.

Fernando Torres

Current Team: Atletico Madrid (on-loan from AC Milan)
Age: 30
Odds to MLS: 60-to-1
Prediction: Torres is back at Atleti and happy, so a move to MLS — even a few years from now — is unlikely. Torres is familiar enough that someone in MLS management might want to take a flier on him. Thierry Henry scored consistently for the Red Bulls, while lesser heralded imports like Juan Pablo Angel and Marco di Vaio proved useful scorers into their 30s.

Wesley Sneijder

Current Team: Galatasaray
Age: 30
Odds to MLS: 20-to-1
Prediction: The Dutch international is under contract with Galatasaray through 2016. When he’s out of contract he’ll have suitors — people still remember his great run with Inter Milan and the 2010 World Cup — but his style of play doesn’t fit many systems these days. That said, MLS never lacks for playmakers. Sneijder looks like the prototypical MLS DP signing, although his name value might outweigh his soccer value at this juncture.

Andrea Pirlo

Current Team: Juventus
Age: 35
Odds to MLS: 50-to-1
Prediction: Sure, in theory, it would be nice to see the world’s most elegant footballer come to America and work his trademark magic on free kicks, but at the same time it would be slightly depressing watching Pirlo jog casually around on artificial turf fields with NFL lines.

Samuel Eto’o

Current Team: Sampdoria
Age: 34
Odds to MLS: 75-to-1
Prediction: The Cameroonian striker has certainly been linked to MLS in the past, but are teams going to want to pay a transfer fee now that’s he’s signed a two and a half year deal to play in Italy? The window has probably closed here.

Miroslav Klose

Current Team: Lazio
Age: 36
Odds to MLS: 30-to-1
Prediction: If he’s healthy and motivated, the German World Cup winner could probably provide a solid six months for an MLS team leading its forward line. Klose, despite his accolades with Germany and World Cup scoring record, isn’t exactly a marquee name that would get Americans out in droves to watch.