Heart Attack Burger is the Most Refreshingly Honest Ballpark Gut-Busting Creation Yet

The Cane County Cougars, the Arizona Diamondbacks Single A affliate, is offering up the latest heart-attacking inducing ballpark foodstuff. Let’s applaud the Geneva, Ill., team for being honest, calling it … (dramatic pause) …

The “Heart Attack Burger.”

"The half-pound beef patty is topped with grilled onions, a fried egg, slice of melted cheddar cheese, chipotle bacon mayo, two strips of bacon with a pair of grilled cheese sandwiches serving as its bun."

There needs to be a show on the Travel Channel about all these amazing, high-calorie, ballpark options. Let me know and I’ll apply for the SAG card if you need a host with a winning personality (and endless stomach). I’m willing to wear sunglasses on the back of my head. Whatever it takes.