Game of Thrones Recap: "The Gift"

Game of Thrones Recap: "The Gift"

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Game of Thrones Recap: "The Gift"

how long is she going to stand there

I assume everyone took Memorial Day off from the Internet so here is this week’s abbreviated Game of Thrones recap. I just hope you weren’t standing there, looking across the room at your computer, waiting for this post to appear.

Jon Snow – Heading North of the Wall with a crazy, bearded ginger. What could possibly go wrong?

o

Samwell – You can remove “of the Night’s Watch” from his title. Sam is just a man now.

Reek – Dammit.

Sansa – It appears married life has not improved much since the wedding night. So, will people continue to be outraged over the treatment of the fictional character?

friends in the North eh

Brienne – Waiting. And watching. Watching. And waiting.

Maester Aemon Targaryen – RIP. Not many people in the Seven Kingdoms go peacefully in old age. That’s something right there.

Sansa – Seriously, things are bad for her. We should all stop watching.

Ramsay – Still a monster. We get it. Raping and flaying. Just kill him and make people feel good.

Stannis – Didn’t know they had Bad Idea Jeans in the North, but Stannis found a pair. Now he’s an episode or two from being – at the least – complicit in the death of his daughter.

Stannis-would-like-some

Red Woman – She gets off on being withholding. And young men with king’s blood. And fire.

Gilly – She certainly made Sam work for it.

Ghost

Ghost – Oh, hey Direwolf. Thanks for showing up. Probably should have gone North with Jon, but staying home paid off.

Jorah and Tyrion – Co-slaves. The pirate slaver who got his ass kicked by a chained Tyrion is probably not very good at his job. I was kind of disappointed we didn’t get to see a cock auction. A cocktion, if you will.

Tyrion-is-a-fighter

Dany – You know she’s like 16 in the books right? People are going to be super pissed when they find out.

Queen of Thorns – She just wants her grandkids back!

Tommen – Wife and mother in jail… Stannis or Dany just needs to show up at this point.

Jamie's cell

Jaime – Dornish jail doesn’t seem so bad. They don’t even lock the doors!

Bronn – Speaking of the highs and lows of jail… For a moment, I thought we were going to lose Bronn. Now it appears they’re going to ‘ship him with a Sand Snake. Just as an FYI, that’s Tyene Sand, played by 19-year old Rosabell Laurenti Sellers.

get-him-out-of-my-site

Jorah and Tyrion – Jorah got his big break and Dany was like, “Nope. Still hate you.” Poor Ser Friendzone. (Whoever came up with that in the comments, please stand up and take a bow.) My favorite part of the scene was the fact that Tyrion was the only slave warrior chained up. Probably because of how deft he proved himself as a fighter back at the auction.

looking rough

Margaery – Compared to Jaime’s accommodations in Dorn, the religious police are not very good hosts. Heck, even Bronn gets a peep show.

Cersei – It took 5 seasons, but she’s finally in some real danger. (Ignore that siege on King’s Landing where she was ready to swallow a poison pill.) And after she was so nice to the High Sparrow for like two whole episodes. It’s like you can’t trust crazy people you don’t know. If I were Littlefinger, I’d be on the first horse out of town right about now.

Cersei-in-trouble

Season 5, Episode 6: “Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken” Recap
Season 5, Episode 5: “Kill The Boy” Recap
Season 5, Episode 4: “The Sons of the Harpy” Recap
Season 5, Episode 3: “High Sparrow” Recap
Season 5, Episode 2: “The Wars to Come” Recap
Season 5, Episode 1: “The House of Black and White” Recap

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