Sorry Deadspin, I'll (Usually) Wear Flip-Flops as I Wish

Earlier today, Deadspin writer Leslie Horn published a post instructing men to eschew wearing sandals this summer. Though this entry was published to the site’s main page, it was listed on a separate vertical. No, not the culture vertical, The Concourse, where Horn usually writes, but another vertical called Adequate Man, which was devised to teach men how to uphold the standards of, well, adequate men in places like Brooklyn or Brooklyn.

“You might be tempted to rock mandals,” she writes. “I get it. But you shouldn’t do that unless you’re a middle-aged lawyer living in Miami with access to a boat and a lot of gold jewelry. Man sandals are hard to make work.” Referring to footwear like Birkenstocks, Tevas, or Keens, Horn says that, like those affluent attorneys, dads and babies are also exempt from her rules. Then she specifies on flip-flops:

While I might not be brazen enough to wear flip-flops to a wedding or a nice dinner or some future mortgage application, you better believe that Rainbows will be adorning my feet any time I can get away with it. A daily uniform of shorts (which Deadspin’s Greg Howard pooh-pooh’ed last summer), flip-flops, and a t-shirt from May through October is over half the point of being a stay-at-home blogger. If I worked in some fancy office, or as a professional mover, I probably wouldn’t wear sandals on the job, and I’d hate every second of it.

It’ll take a special occasion to force me to put on non-Jeans pants, a belt, dark socks, blister-inducing and horrifically uncomfortable real job shoes, and God forbid a suit and tie. Why would I rather stuff my feet in sweaty socks to avoid being judged by strangers than feel pleasant and relaxed? Perhaps I’m just a complacent, midwestern man, rather than an adequate one. It’ll have to do, I suppose.