Top 10 People Who Can't Say: "I'm the best player in the world"

LeBron James confirmed what all many some people believed following Game 5 of the NBA Finals when he said, “I’m the best player in the world.” This statement was met with many gasps as no one had ever heard an athlete make a declarative statement about his or her abilities before. That kind of talk is best left for hyperbolic debate on Internet forums. Just like this one. So here are the TOP TEN PEOPLE WHO ARE NOT BETTER THAN LEBRON JAMES AT BASKETBALL…

10. Stephen Curry (Basketball Player)

Pointless Argument For: NBA MVP. NBA Finals Opponent. Friend of Skylar Astin. Has adorable daughter. Scored 37 points on 23 shots in the Warriors’ crucial Game 5 win over LeBron and the Cavs.
Indisputable Argument Against: Not LeBron James.

9. Chris Pratt (Actor)

Pointless Argument For: Star of Jurassic World, the movie with the best opening weekend box office of all-time. Played Scott Hatteberg in Brad Pitt movie.
Indisputable Argument Against: Network connectivity problems.

8. Matthew Dellavedova (Cavaliers PG)

Pointless Argument For: Scrappy. Takes funny pictures. Gentleman-like handshake. Australian.
Indisputable Argument Against: Currently getting lit up by #10 on this list.

7. Skip Bayless (ESPN Personality)

Pointless Argument For: It certainly sounds like something he would say on television.
Indisputable Argument Against: Skip Bayless lied about high school basketball accomplishments.

6. Jon Snow (TV Character)

Pointless Argument For: Defeated a White Walker in open combat. Has direwolf.
Indisputable Argument Against: [GAME OF THRONES SPOILER REDACTED]

5. Stephen Douglas (Sports Blogger)

Pointless Argument For: Scored 30 points in win over Lake George as a senior. Owns shiny shirt.
Indisputable Argument Against: On Friday, Douglas lost four of five games of H.O.R.S.E. to Kyle Koster – another sports blogger. Douglas may have then lied to his wife about how close the games of H.O.R.S.E. were. Hopefully, she doesn’t read this.

4. Michael Jordan (Meme)

Pointless Argument For: 6x NBA Champion. 5x NBA MVP. Shoe salesman. Hilarious and original and clever each time crying meme.
Indisputable Argument Against: Retired. Older than Tillie.

3. Joyce “Tillie” Mitchell (Accomplice)

Pointless Argument For: Worked at slipper factory. Lusty (Presumed). Helped convicted murders escape prison (allegedly).
Indisputable Argument Against: 51-year old women. No NBA MVP awards.

2. American Pharoah (Horse)

Pointless Argument For: Triple Crown Winner. Possible ESPY honoree.
Indisputable Argument Against: Doesn’t play basketball. Name misspelled. Is a horse.

1. Kobe Bryant (Basketball Player)

Pointless Argument For: 5x NBA Champion. 1x NBA MVP.
Indisputable Argument Against: LeBron > Kobe per #SCIENCE