NFL Podium Fashion: Tom Brady as Morty Seinfeld and Tyrod Taylor's Swag

One of the best platforms for an NFL player to expand their personal brand happens to be at the postgame podium, where answering bland questions can also double as an opportunity to showcase their fashion sensibilities and personality to millions of fans and #brands across the globe.

Sometimes the ensemble works. Sometimes it does not. These are their stories.

Tom Brady

Sure, it was a relatively ugly, rainy night following Tommy’s triumphant performance in New England, but was it necessary for him to wear Morty Seinfeld’s belt-less “Executive” to the podium? While the ladies will argue Brady made up for it by leaving five shirt buttons undone, it happens to be Fashion Week in Manhattan. Look the part you’ve set such a high standard for, Michigan Man.

Ben Roethlisberger

For reasons unknown, Ben Roethlisberger chooses to remain extremely close to reporters and their intrusive microphones on a regular basis. We’re getting dangerously close to a surprise appearance from Triumph the Insult Comic Dog, which is really the only reason not to have a podium. Also, terrible decision to go with the pinstripe jacket, polka dot shirt, and zig-zag patterned tie. If I were forced to guess, I’d say there’s a stuffed Smurf begrudgingly serving as Big Ben’s pocket square.

Tyrod Taylor

Josh Scobee

The Steelers kicker is here mostly because he appears to be re-watching his failed kicks sail wide, but also because he kinda made up for that debacle by appearing presentable in this button-down. There’s nothing wrong with a relaxed look even when you fail miserably.

Russell Wilson

Simply put, this is how it’s done. OK, fine. The tie looks like it was put on by a distracted seventh grader, but I’ll chalk up that hastiness to a frustrating overtime loss on the road.

On a related note, it’s probably best to stay in the moment as the season progresses, Russ.

Aaron Rodgers

Aaron Rodgers looks as smooth as his game. The presence of a stylish leather jacket is a telltale sign that Tom Brady and Russell Wilson will likely have some serious company this year. It’s also a telltale sign that Olivia Munn told him exactly what to wear.

Cam Newton

The expression says it all. Tear up the script, rip whoever comically attempted to tailor that jacket, and get back to the lab. Also, play better. If your output is similar next week, please get it over with and just put on the sunglasses.

J.J. Watt

J.J. Watt’s streak of always looking like he’s either entering a gym, or exiting a gym, remains firmly intact. At some point down the road it would be nice to see a giant tire wrapped around his freakish neck, but remember — it’s very, very early.

Marcus Mariota

Suit looks great. Very professional. The major concern here is that Mariota appears to be sporting the always tragic and problematic, Neg-Burns. Considering these things haven’t been in style since the days of Mark Gastineau and Jose Canseco, we implore the impressive rookie to sign off on hair crossing south of the ear equator ASAP. ‘Tis for the best.

Jay Cutler

This looks nothing like Jay Cutler at the podium — where’s the heroic leather? — but the outward indifference is certainly apparent. Sometimes, that’s all that matters when it comes to Smokin’ Jay Cutler.

Peyton Manning

Wow, Peyton. When will it end? Seriously, were you blindfolded when you picked out this ensemble? The best way I can succinctly put this glaring “feuding patterns” issue is as follows: A suit, divided against itself, CANNOT stand. Now please cut the shit. (via @jasonhartelius)

Andrew Luck

“What do you want, man. I’m half caveman, half Klopek.” Exactly, Andrew. This is precisely why you get another improbable A+. Keep up the good work.

Johnny Manziel

The post-wedding reception “jacket and tie nowhere to be found” look is exactly how one should present themselves following a 31-10 loss to the Jets.

Philip Rivers

Philip Rivers changed things up a bit by offering some wonderful improv in the form of the age-old “invisible rock-a-bye baby” routine.

Keenan Allen

Jameis Winston

Of course the No. 1 overall pick from this year’s draft would be featured in the first installment! And, well, Winston’s presence at the podium was about as inspiring as his first NFL pass attempt.

Oh well. At least some progress was made.

Rex Ryan

No need to be bashful here, Rex. You’re 1-0 and your hat no longer says “Jets.” By the way, it’s pretty obvious someone is playing with your feet.

Eli Manning

We’ll call this look “safe.” But your mom will probably call this look “very handsome” because Eli is “so nice.”

Tony Romo

Superb game-winning drive win no timeouts left. Awful presence at the podium. Literally hiding under the NFL shield is a spineless move and will likely piss off the NFLPA.

Dez Bryant

Sometimes planning out every last detail can become tedious and mundane. However, following your emotions — particularly when it comes to sports — can often be the best medicine.

***

Related: NFL Fashion at the Podium: Best and Worst Dressed Players